Worker #1: What kind of M&Ms are those?
Worker #2: Peanut.
Worker #1: Oh god, I won't want those! I don't want nuts in my mouth!
Albany, New York
Worker #1: What kind of M&Ms are those?
Worker #2: Peanut.
Worker #1: Oh god, I won't want those! I don't want nuts in my mouth!
Albany, New York
Nurse: How have your bowel movements been?
Elderly man: Oh, very good, thank you! Would you like to see?
Hospital
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Molly
Attendant: Is the cat male or female?
Animal Cop: Female.
Attendant: So you checked?
Animal Cop: No, I didn’t check the plumbing, if that’s what you mean.
Attendant: So how do you know it’s a female?
Animal Cop: Because the cat was feisty. Kind of like my wife.
326 110th Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: M.L. Liu
Director: I feel like she’s staring into my soul.
Producer: It’s a good feeling, isn’t it?
35 West 4th Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: jen d.
Office secretary: All I'm saying is… They'd better be siamese.
Manhattan, New York
Chick: Nice flowers!
Dude: Yeah, I had a bad day yesterday and treated myself. You ever have one of those?
Chick: Yeah, but I just drink.
1440 Broadway
New York, New York
New mom: The days go by so fast now that I’m so preoccupied with… pumping.
Hudson St
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Lady with sick cat: My husband is going to kill me if I spend any more money on this cat.
Man with dog: That’s sad that you’re married to someone that’s like that. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my pets.
Lady with sick cat: You want to go get a beer after this?
Jersey Avenue
Port Jervis, New York
Female: But there's like four or five on one arm!
Male: I know they're green, but are they hard? Soft?
Female: Big. Green.
New York State Psychiatric Institute
Overheard by: Rina
Student on phone: Sir, as a current student at XYZ College*, I know I can talk to you about all the improvements that we’ve made since you attended…. Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. No… No, I didn’t realize you hated XYZ. I will be sure to tell him that… Repeat after you? Sir, please… I promise I’ll tell him… Okay, sir, I’ll tell him that you said that everyone at this school can fuck themselves and suck your 70-year-old balls… Thank you. You have a good night, too, sir.
515 Loudon Road
Loudonville, New York
Overheard by: trying not to laugh while on the phone
