Expert Publicist #1: You know what,ya did a shitty job of selling that to the client.
Expert Publicist #2: What’re ya talking about?
Expert Publicist #1: You know, what ya gotta do, ya gotta sell it, ya gotta masturbate his brain.
Expert Publicist #2: What?
Expert Publicist #1: Well if you don’t wanna do it, I’ll masturbate him!
11 Stone Street
New York, NY
Consultant guy: Yeah, we overnight the documents to you. It takes about a week for you to get them.
Garden City, New York
Lawyer on phone: My understanding is that he works in a restaurant, not a bordello.
Huntington, New York
Session Leader: I’ll leave this badge on the desk. If you need to use the facilities, just take it with you and swipe the reader on the bathroom door.
Participant #1: You need to swipe from the bottom up, right?
Participant #2: Not if you’re a girl!
One Chase Plaza
New York, NY
Patron: Will the bank will be open on Friday?
Teller: Yes sir, we are open. Why shouldn't we be?
Patron: I heard it will be very cold Thursday and Friday.
Teller: No sir, we don't close the bank due to cold weather. How can I help you?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Eddie
Male coworker #1: Sorry, dude, I was trying to throw something at your D, and I missed.
Male coworker #2 (angrily): Why are you always trying to throw things at my dick?
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Thank God I don't have a D…
Copy writer #1: What is a leap year?
Copy writer #2 (disdainfully): It has to do with making up time that people screwed up back in the day.
Main Street, Buffalo
Peon: Will there be an agenda at the holiday party?
42 Broadway
New York, New York
VP: Yeah, and if we go over there, we could get all our stuff back. We have a whole bunch of equipment in China stuck in escargot.
Director: Um…You mean escrow?
VP: What did I say? Escargot? Well that works, too, since it’s so slow in getting back to us.
Director: Sure it does.
45th Street and 9th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: melissa
Yuppie #1: You coming out tomorrow night? Gonna be a shit show.
Yuppie #2: As long as I don’t wake up on random floors as I have the past two Thursdays!
5th Avenue
New York, New York
