Female coworker: I would never go to a country music concert.
Male coworker: Well what kind of concert would you go to?
Female coworker: I dunno… I'd go see Michael Jackson.
Male coworker: Um… He's dead.
Female coworker, after pause: I knew that.
Plainsboro, New Jersey
Overheard by: Not Living Under a Rock
Checkout teen: Would you like a CVS rewards card?
Hippie girl: No.
Checkout teen, hopefully: They're environmentally friendly.
Old Bridge, New Jersey
Old drone: My dad, when he got older, cut off his mustache, but then it wouldn't grow back in all the way, and he looked like Hitler.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Woman with thick Chinese accent on phone: Poop!? Poop!? You poop on the floor!? How old are you?
Somerville, New Jersey
Worker#1: Give me some jellybeans.
Worker#2: Fuck you! (pause) And don't call me jellybeans.
Clifton, New Jersey
Boyfriend to girlfriend: I can't get an elephant tattooed on my ass, elephants are really big.
Girlfriend: People have solar systems tattooed on them, and those things are fucking huge.
Mahwah, New Jersey
Woman on phone: Well, it’ll be nice to have teeth in your mouth again.
10 Exchange Place
Jersey City, New Jersey
Manager: How’s your mother?
Employee: She’s coming home tonight. They wanted to put her in a nursing home, but I said, ‘No way.’ Not at Christmas.
Manager: Doesn’t she need that level of care?
Employee: Not at Christmas, she doesn’t.
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: Cubicle Right Outside
Co-worker, on phone with 9-year-old son: I’m not happy with you. I heard you were a bad boy at camp. They told me you hit one of the other kids with a golf club. You shouldn’t do that. You could hurt someone.
371 Hoes Lane
Piscataway, New Jersey
Messenger: Hey, I'm just the messenger.
Receiver: Do you know where the phrase “Don't shoot the messenger” came from?
Messenger: Cause they use to shoot the messenger.
Receiver: You know why they still have that saying? Cause we still shoot the messenger.
Lyndhurst, New Jersey
