Young office worker: I need some Catholic classes or something. I get all confused about the Bible characters and Jesus.
Manager: Why not go to church? Or maybe when you go to college, they’ll have a Bible study. Lots of kids do that.
Young office worker: I need something before then. I need Jesus for Dummies so I can catch up!
365 West Passaic Street
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: the cubicle right outside
Biotech girl #1: I really need to make my paper more sexy, so any comments you have will help.
Biotech girl #2: But I'm not a sexy person, I don't know how much help I'll be.
Biotech girl #1: Oh no, you're a very sexy person! You've written for tons of sexy journals.
Carl Icahn Laboratory
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: FileTransferer
Corporate suit: They were wearing, like, you know, trashy Old Navy golf shirts.
Plainsboro, New Jersey
Overheard by: Wow.
Cube dweller #1: There's one bagel left.
Cube dweller #2: I think that's the one that was on the floor.
Cube dweller #3: No, I ate that one.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Very white girl in business suit on cell in cafeteria: No, I haven't told him yet, I just found out for sure this morning. (pause) Well, I don't have his phone number anymore, I took it out of my phone so I wouldn't drunk dial. (pause) I don't know, I know his address, so maybe I'll just send him a card. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm having a baby, and so are you”. (pause) Hey, maybe a singing telegram to him at work. That'll go over big. (pause) He's an elementary school teacher… that would probably get him fired. (pulls out ghetto accent) And you know my baby daddy better have hisself a job!
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Currrly!
Sales guy: Remember when you were a kid and got crabs? The medicine would come in a plain brown box like that.
Asbury Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: (to the)
Female sales rep #1, sneezing loudly: What is going on in here? I got it all in my nose.
Female sales rep #2, coughs loudly: Well, I got it all in my throat.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Boss: Do you hear that? That’s the sound of me getting screwed.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Employee (during global teleconference with CEO): I don't have a question, but I just wanted to thank you for the opportunity to work here. Although I am deaf, it hasn't stopped me from having a chance of proving myself.
CEO: I appreciate your comment. That is a subject that is near and dear to my heart, since I have a son who is deaf.
Employee: What?
New Jersey
Overheard by: Snickering
Asian coworker: What are you doing?
Caucasian coworker: Assembling the trade booth so we all know how to do it.
Asian coworker: Trade booth?
Caucasian coworker: For conventions, we set this up so people know who we are.
Asian coworker: What are you trading? Can I trade?
Caucasian coworker: Nevermind! Go back to your desk!
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
