Cube dweller #1: There's one bagel left.
Cube dweller #2: I think that's the one that was on the floor.
Cube dweller #3: No, I ate that one.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Cube dweller #1: There's one bagel left.
Cube dweller #2: I think that's the one that was on the floor.
Cube dweller #3: No, I ate that one.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Very white girl in business suit on cell in cafeteria: No, I haven't told him yet, I just found out for sure this morning. (pause) Well, I don't have his phone number anymore, I took it out of my phone so I wouldn't drunk dial. (pause) I don't know, I know his address, so maybe I'll just send him a card. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm having a baby, and so are you”. (pause) Hey, maybe a singing telegram to him at work. That'll go over big. (pause) He's an elementary school teacher… that would probably get him fired. (pulls out ghetto accent) And you know my baby daddy better have hisself a job!
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Currrly!
Sales guy: Remember when you were a kid and got crabs? The medicine would come in a plain brown box like that.
Asbury Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: (to the)
Female sales rep #1, sneezing loudly: What is going on in here? I got it all in my nose.
Female sales rep #2, coughs loudly: Well, I got it all in my throat.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Boss: Do you hear that? That’s the sound of me getting screwed.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
Employee (during global teleconference with CEO): I don't have a question, but I just wanted to thank you for the opportunity to work here. Although I am deaf, it hasn't stopped me from having a chance of proving myself.
CEO: I appreciate your comment. That is a subject that is near and dear to my heart, since I have a son who is deaf.
Employee: What?
New Jersey
Overheard by: Snickering
Asian coworker: What are you doing?
Caucasian coworker: Assembling the trade booth so we all know how to do it.
Asian coworker: Trade booth?
Caucasian coworker: For conventions, we set this up so people know who we are.
Asian coworker: What are you trading? Can I trade?
Caucasian coworker: Nevermind! Go back to your desk!
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Boss reviewing Myers Briggs Type Indicator results: I am surprised by Stan’s* P-ness. [Silence.] Well, Stan’s results show that he has a slight P-ness, and I was expecting him to not have any P in him at all. [Room erupts with laughter.]
Cherry Hill, New Jersey
Overheard by: Still Laughing Inside
Coworker: Here you go, sir. Enjoy the show!
Drunk customer, after buying Justin Timberlake tickets: Oh, these aren’t for me, but I’ll enjoy the head I’m getting for buying these tickets.
Ticket Center, Willowbrook Mall
Wayne, New Jersey
Overheard by: Glad he didn’t come to my window
Old lady: I like them when they're big and juicy like that.
Older lady: Yeah, all dark and purpley, so good.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
