Which Is Why It Can't Be the Other Guy I Slept With

Very white girl in business suit on cell in cafeteria: No, I haven't told him yet, I just found out for sure this morning. (pause) Well, I don't have his phone number anymore, I took it out of my phone so I wouldn't drunk dial. (pause) I don't know, I know his address, so maybe I'll just send him a card. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm having a baby, and so are you”. (pause) Hey, maybe a singing telegram to him at work. That'll go over big. (pause) He's an elementary school teacher… that would probably get him fired. (pulls out ghetto accent) And you know my baby daddy better have hisself a job!

Princeton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Currrly!

Posted on April 5, 2021
Colors, Drinking, Family, Health & Hygiene, Hiring & Firing, New Jersey, On the phone, Rich people, Weirdness

So Many Wonderful Things Come in Plain, Brown Wrappers

Sales guy: Remember when you were a kid and got crabs? The medicine would come in a plain brown box like that.

Asbury Park, New Jersey

Overheard by: (to the)

Posted on April 4, 2021
Age and ageing, Compare and contrast, Default, Health & Hygiene, New Jersey, Questions, Sales

Sales Reps Are Competitive in Everything

Female sales rep #1, sneezing loudly: What is going on in here? I got it all in my nose.
Female sales rep #2, coughs loudly: Well, I got it all in my throat.

Delran, New Jersey

Overheard by: Bruce Banner

Posted on March 20, 2021
Body Parts, Compare and contrast, New Jersey, Sales

4PM Budgets Due

Boss: Do you hear that? That’s the sound of me getting screwed.

473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey

Overheard by: office peon

Posted on March 11, 2021
Bosses, New Jersey, Office Politics, Questions

You Know, I Have the Same Problem at Home

Employee (during global teleconference with CEO): I don't have a question, but I just wanted to thank you for the opportunity to work here. Although I am deaf, it hasn't stopped me from having a chance of proving myself.
CEO: I appreciate your comment. That is a subject that is near and dear to my heart, since I have a son who is deaf.
Employee: What?

New Jersey

Overheard by: Snickering

Posted on February 26, 2021
Bosses and Underlings, Compliments, Family, Health & Hygiene, New Jersey, On the phone

They’re Trading Asian Men

Asian coworker: What are you doing?
Caucasian coworker: Assembling the trade booth so we all know how to do it.
Asian coworker: Trade booth?
Caucasian coworker: For conventions, we set this up so people know who we are.
Asian coworker: What are you trading? Can I trade?
Caucasian coworker: Nevermind! Go back to your desk!

Rochelle Park, New Jersey

Posted on February 3, 2021
Coworkers, Dumb Bosses, Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, Language barrier, New Jersey, Questions, Smart Employees, Words

Dick, on the Other Hand…

Boss reviewing Myers Briggs Type Indicator results: I am surprised by Stan’s* P-ness. [Silence.] Well, Stan’s results show that he has a slight P-ness, and I was expecting him to not have any P in him at all. [Room erupts with laughter.]

Cherry Hill, New Jersey

Overheard by: Still Laughing Inside

Posted on January 6, 2021
Bosses, Default, New Jersey, Words

That Was a Hint, Brainiac

Coworker: Here you go, sir. Enjoy the show!
Drunk customer, after buying Justin Timberlake tickets: Oh, these aren’t for me, but I’ll enjoy the head I’m getting for buying these tickets.

Ticket Center, Willowbrook Mall
Wayne, New Jersey

Overheard by: Glad he didn’t come to my window