Woman in bathroom: Smell that peach! You know it's clean!
Pflugerville, Texas
Woman in bathroom: Smell that peach! You know it's clean!
Pflugerville, Texas
Boss: Do you have any gum? I smell like tuna.
Secretary: Yes?
Boss: Thanks, I don't understand why I smell like tuna, I haven't eaten any today…
Reston, Virginia
Bossman, loudly: I need three large boxes of navels, shipped out tomorrow.
Office peon: Ew… bellybuttons. That's gross. So, is that a meat order, then?
Hill Country, Texas
Overheard by: front desk of the fruit shippers
Male cook: Fine, we'll spell it your way!
Female front desk agent: No, seriously! “Banana” is spelled b-a-n-a-n-a.
(later that day)
Female front desk agent to male front desk agent: Hey, how do you spell “banana”?
Male front desk agent: B-a-b…
Female front desk agent, cutting him off: Forget it.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: David
Manager: Sarah*, why do you have all of those little baggies at your desk?
Sarah: Because you never know when someone will need one, or when we have those potlucks and people want to take things home, or try someone else's dish, or take it home to their kids…
Manager: Sarah, are you sure you're not dealing?
Sarah: Well, maybe I should…I do have a scale at my desk…
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: I'll buy some
Large Korean who likes burgers: You better bring back In-N-Out. I hate Dick's, but love it when it's In-N-Out. Dick's are so small, they never fill me up, that's why it's always gotta be In-N-Out.
Jet City, Washington
Overheard by: Big Fan of Burgers-
Flamboyant marketing director: In my opinion, prostitutes are great because they help my liver. Let me explain–it cuts the process in half. I don't have to waste my money buying drinks for guys at the bar that still might not sleep with me. So… in the end, my liver is healthier because of prostitutes.
Old lady assistant: Prosciutto is good for the liver? I'll put it in a salad!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Lowly Intern
Male coworker, carrying apple and pear into break room: Who took my banana?
Ridge, New York
Worker #1: We grilled chicken hearts the other night.
Worker #2: Really? Like, how big are they?
Worker #1, gesturing: Not very. We have to make several skewers full because they are so little.
Worker #2: Do you even know how many chickens it takes to get one heart? Poor things!
Virginia
Male coworker #1: Megan* says she's going to Taco Bell for lunch and she hopes nobody is pissed.
Male coworker #2: Why would someone be pissed?
Male coworker #1: Cause she knows that you like some Taco Bell.
Male coworker #2: I do,but I certainly am not in the business of depriving people of Taco Bell.
Lynchburg, Virginia
