Flamboyant marketing director: In my opinion, prostitutes are great because they help my liver. Let me explain–it cuts the process in half. I don't have to waste my money buying drinks for guys at the bar that still might not sleep with me. So… in the end, my liver is healthier because of prostitutes.
Old lady assistant: Prosciutto is good for the liver? I'll put it in a salad!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Lowly Intern
Male coworker, carrying apple and pear into break room: Who took my banana?
Ridge, New York
Worker #1: We grilled chicken hearts the other night.
Worker #2: Really? Like, how big are they?
Worker #1, gesturing: Not very. We have to make several skewers full because they are so little.
Worker #2: Do you even know how many chickens it takes to get one heart? Poor things!
Virginia
Male coworker #1: Megan* says she's going to Taco Bell for lunch and she hopes nobody is pissed.
Male coworker #2: Why would someone be pissed?
Male coworker #1: Cause she knows that you like some Taco Bell.
Male coworker #2: I do,but I certainly am not in the business of depriving people of Taco Bell.
Lynchburg, Virginia
Cube dweller to another: If you want the full effects of the Smarties, you need to freebase them.
Pioneer Square
Seattle, Washington
Seemingly normal customer: It's revealing when the lolly-boxes clatter, isn't it? Revealing!
Cashier: Er, yes. (awkward laughter)
Vegetable Shop
Western Australia
Australia
Overheard by: Cara
Customer: How much does one of those pork chops weigh?
Meat market employee: It depends on how big they are.
Peoria, Illinois
Colleague on phone: He sits in his office reading the paper, and then he wanders out, shits on everybody, eats their French fries, and leaves.
London
Canadia
Peon #1: Why didn't she put the cream that I bought on the buffet table?
Peon #2: I don't think she knows what cream looks like.
Falls Church, Virginia
Coworker to table: Guys, as much as I love talking about poo, do we have to talk about it every meal?
Los Angeles, California
