Female teacher: You squashed my banana!
Male teacher: Here, just have my banana.
Female teacher: I don't want your banana.
Male teacher: Look, just eat my banana.
Female teacher: No!
(male teacher walks away in disgust)
Female teacher, shouting after him: I only like lady fingers!
Barwon Heads
Australia
Admin #1: What are you eating? it smells terrible.
Admin #2: It's yogurt, for Christ's sake!
Admin #1: What kind of yogurt?
Admin #2: Strawberry yogurt!
Admin #1: With curdled strawberries! It stinks!
Admin #2: Look, Joe* was just here using the microwave to heat up ass.
Admin #1: That ass smelled delicious.
Fordham University
The Bronx, New York
Coworker on phone: My cell phone stopped working, it fell into the soup I had for lunch. What should I do?
Seattle, Washington
Older female coworker to younger female coworker: That's the trouble with eating an apple at your desk, the juice runs down your chin and everywhere.
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: James
Admin, poking head into boss' office: What's that smell?!
Boss: You can smell that?!
Admin: Yes, and it's definitely coming from here.
Boss: I got a sub and they put onions on it! I finally figured it out and moved my trash can outside the office!
Admin: Thanks a lot! It reeks.
Boss: Better you than me!
Admin: The perks of having a closed office.
Ottawa
Canadia
Fattest guy in the office: I wish they had Diet Sprite in the cafeteria.
Plainsboro, New Jersey
Office lady: I'm so hungry, I could eat a man!
West Perth
Australia
Overheard by: A Man
Project manager: You can have this piece of the pie by December.
Chattanooga, Tennessee
Training manager, looking at bottle of water: This water has a green twinge to it.
Training drone: I'm sorry?
Training manager: Look at this water! It has a green twinge to it!
Training drone: Are you asking if the water looks green to me?
Training manager: Yeah! A twinge of green!
Troy, Michigan
Overheard by: Mortgage Whisperer
Boss: So I have this client, and he's kind of slightly mentally retarded, and he's a huge Cubs fan…
Underling, not missing a beat: That's like saying “I need to go the to the ATM machine to get cash money so I can pay for my beef with au jus.”
Boss, blinking and frowning: I don't get it. And I'm a Cubs fan!
Wicker Park
Chicago, Illinois
