Customer: Ummm… What's in a veggie sandwich?
(short pause)
Employee: Uh, veggies.
(short pause)
Customer: Oh. Okay. I'll have a veggie sandwich.
Subway Sandwich Shop
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: 'Chelle
Customer: Ummm… What's in a veggie sandwich?
(short pause)
Employee: Uh, veggies.
(short pause)
Customer: Oh. Okay. I'll have a veggie sandwich.
Subway Sandwich Shop
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: 'Chelle
Waitress: I ate so many pork sausages yesterday at the picnic, when I fart it sounds like a pig squealing [makes loud squealing sounds over and over].
Waiter: Did you used to be a guy or something?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Customer service girl eating from Christmas popcorn tin: Ew! These are sterile!
6141 Riverside Drive
Riverside, California
Overheard by: sylvie
Coworker: Would you like some tomato sauce with that muffin?
Customer: (blank look)
Coworker: Ah, shit.
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Alaska
Asian coworker, looking up abruptly: You know that smell that you get in your nose when you're done smelling something? I smell meatballs.
St. Cloud, Minnesota
Coworker: Dude, what's the best Chinese place for lunch?
Overweight secretary: Ruby Foo's, just below us!
Coworker: Thanks! (aside) See, the whale's good for something.
Manhattan, New York
Head chef: You know what a cabbage is!
Other chef: (blank look)
Restaurant
Regional Queensland
Australia
Boss: Mmmm! This pizza’s good.
Employee: Oh, yeah. This deep dish one is great.
Boss: Oh, yeah. I saw that one, but it looked too weird to try.
Employee: Yeah, it’s Chicago style.
Boss: Oh, that’s why. I like just good old American-style pizza.
Frost Bank Building
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: dizzle
Receptionist on phone: My body always tells me when it's time for a piece of beef.
Fairchild Court
Plainview, New York
Writer: ‘Portly’ sounds cute. Sounds like a nice, bald, fat man in a three-piece suit.
Designer: ‘Portly’ sounds like someone with grease stains on their shirt from dropping a piece of chicken.
Writer: That’s not ‘portly!’ That’s obese!
Designer: What’s the difference?
Writer: Obese is like those Subway ads before Jared lost his weight. When he was all wild-eyed and savage. Clothes all stretched out, nothing laundered, brimming with Big Macs and Crisco sandwhiches.
Designer: They should outlaw Crisco. Just straight out make it a crime.
Writer: Yeah.
16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
