Admin assistant: Can you get us these things from Starbucks? (hands list to intern)
Intern: Yeah. (pauses, looks at list) This one says “no milk”…do you think that means fat free”?
Admin assistant: Uh…
W 45th
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Actually, it said 2 percent.
Dumb employee: See, the thing about putting oil and vinegar into a squeeze bottle is that you have to make a decision… You either get oil, or you get vinegar.
Smart employee: Shake it?
Dumb employee: Well…you made a fool out of me.
Port Washington, New York
Overheard by: Chenga
Visitor: Excuse me, receptionist? Do you mind getting me some coffee?
VP of sales: I'm sorry, I'm not the receptionist.
Visitor: Oh, I'm sorry…you look just like one.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Steals your good pens…
Man in kitchenette: Don't worry! I can teabag from afar!
Adams Street
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Glad I drink Coffee
Coworker #1: You know, Diana* is leaving to move to Austin.
Coworker #2 (bitter and disappointed): I hate it when people leave.
Coworker #3: Really? I like it because we get snacks.
Park Avenue
New York, New York
Coworker #1: What, you mean you don't like gummy bears?
Coworker #2: No, I like gummy bears, I just don't feel like chewing today.
New York City, New York
Coworker #1, hanging up the phone: I can't believe it's six o'clock, I should be going home and I'm here on the phone talking to Steve* about chicken eggs!
Coworker #2: Why?
Coworker #1: I don't know, he thinks the yolks mean they're fertilized.
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: that's not how eggs work
Cube dweller #1 (hears scraping on a dish): What are you eating?
Cube dweller #2: (mumbles something)
Cube dweller #1: What did you day? Did you say “Tonya?”
Cube dweller #2: Yeah, her too.
Buffalo, New York
Office worker #1: Man, I feel like I have a fuckin' brick of cheese in my stomach.
Office worker #2 (in a concerned tone): That really sucks.
Office worker #1: Yeah.
Office worker #2: Ratatouille comes out on DVD next week!
Gastown
Vancouver
Canadia
Bizarre cube dweller: Cornmeal, hamocks, gunpowder, and guitar strings. I mix it up and just sit, pray, meditate, that sorta thing. I found a great place, too. The problem? Ethel don't want to. Given our natural proclivities, we'd be out raping and pillaging if it weren't for that stuff.
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Cube Guru
