Slim-Fast Isn't So Embarassing

Grumpy loud guy to confused coworker: Stop going out and drinking your lunch!

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on December 15, 2008
Coworkers, Drinking, Meals and Snacks, Pennsylvania, Weirdness

I Thought It Was for Using Internet Abbreviations in Everyday Speech

Young guy: What, you don't like Skittles?
Slightly older guy: No, I feel like my teeth are rotting when I eat them.
Young guy: How about Starbursts?
Older guy: Nope.
Young guy to boss lady: Did you hear that? Did you know you're working near a communist?
Boss lady: You see, the fact that you care about this epitomizes why the gen Xers hate your generation.

Los Angeles, California

Posted on December 15, 2008
Age and ageing, Bosses, California, Employees, Meals and Snacks, Politics, Questions

At Least That Explains the Saddle

Female employee #1: Where does it say in my job description that I'm the aquarium maintenance person, the chocolate jockey, the expert on suicide?
Female employee #2: Yeah, but you asked for that one!
Female employee #1: Which one? The chocolate jockey?
Female employee #2: Yeah.
Female employee #3: Yee-haw! I'm riding my chocolate pony!

Winston-Salem, North Carolina

Posted on December 11, 2008
Employees, Meals and Snacks, North Carolina, Questions, Weirdness

Or I'm About to Get Really Testy

Executive officer: I need a teabag, a teabag…my kingdom for a teabag.

San Diego, California

Posted on December 5, 2008
Body Parts, California, Executives, Meals and Snacks, Words

Well Don't Shit Me

Crazy lady: Help! My food has shit all over it! Help!
Young waitress: Wait, what?
Crazy lady: Don't “what” me.
Young waitress: No, really, what's wrong with it? Is it the wrong dish?
Crazy lady: You didn't tell me it had shit in it.
Young waitress: To what are you referring, precisely?
Crazy lady: The shit the shit the shit! (waves hands madly over dish, gesturing at her pasta, covered in a sauce)
Young waitress: Wait, do you mean the sauce?
Crazy lady: Don't “sauce” me!

Northville, Michigan

Posted on December 3, 2008
Crazies, Dumb Customers, Employees, Health & Hygiene, Meals and Snacks, Michigan, Questions, Weirdness

A Vast Improvement on My Usual Pea Brain

Ditzy secretary to ditzy friend: I just ate, so I have total lunch-brain right now.

Gastown
Vancouver
Canadia

Posted on November 26, 2008
Admins, Body Parts, Canadia, Friends, General Idiocy, Meals and Snacks

So That's a “No” on the Orgy?

President: Let me tell you what, this is about Hank. You know how when you have a bunch of buddies over to make clam chowder, but it never tastes as good as when you make it yourself? That's what I'm talking about Hank. You've got to have just one guy in control of the paprika.

Sonora Court
Sunnyvale, California

Posted on November 26, 2008
Bosses, California, Meals and Snacks, Sexuality

Dear Diary–Talked to Diana Today. We Have So Much in Common!

Male supervisor: So pretty much I think I'm not going to eat before I do it anymore.
Female supervisor: I agree, I never have sex after I eat: that's why if you take me out to dinner you can pretty much guarantee I won't put out! I mean, I might get a cramp.

Lakeport, California