Quality manager: If I told you what I know…
Salesman: You’d have to kill Charles*?
Quality manager: No… That’s not a bad idea, though.
8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Anonymous Temp
Quality manager: If I told you what I know…
Salesman: You’d have to kill Charles*?
Quality manager: No… That’s not a bad idea, though.
8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Anonymous Temp
Old office assistant: Would you like a rubber finger?
Young assistant: Uhh…
Old office assistant: I'm going to give you the finger.
Towson University
Maryland
Attorney: I heard [the client] was whiny.
Client in waiting room: I’m whiny because I’m sick and this is the first time I’ve left the house.
Attorney: Oh shit.
110 N. Washington Street
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Joan
Intercom: Welcome to Popeye’s. Can I take your order?
Woman: Yes, I’d like a Number 2 with a Sprite, please.
Intercom: That will be $8.43… mild or spicy?
Woman: Yes.
Intercom: Mild or spicy?
Woman: Yes, please.
Intercom: [laughter]Woman: What? What?
Intercom: That will be $41.23.
Popeye’s
Waldorf, Maryland
Woman: I’d like to pay my cell phone bill, but it’s in my son’s name and I don’t have the password to see it online. So, I need to know how much it is.
Employee: You can’t pay it without his authorization. I can’t tell you how much it is.
Woman: He can’t authorize anything, he’s incarcerated.
Employee: Well, we’ll need a copy of the obituary or the death certificate.
Woman: What? He’s incarcerated! [pause] He’s in jail.
Employee: Oh.
Frederick, Maryland
Guy reading note: That's his handwriting? It looks like a retarded fourth grader writing with his left foot.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Guy Who Does His Hair at Work
Cubicle mole #1: Still not working, Frank?
Cubicle mole #2: Nope, still can't get it up.
Baltimore, Maryland
40-something editor: Lunch? These youngsters are weak! Didn't you used to get through 15 hours on coffee and nicotine alone?
60-something editor-in-chief: And whiskey!
West Pratt Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: I prefer Red Bull and Natty Boh
Office grunt: … And that’s why you should only have stupid children.
Camden Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Customer Service Specialist on phone: No, sir. You just had a credit line increase yesterday…Well, sir. That’s how the potato chips.
Customer Service Specialist: …Damn towelhead.
14700 Citicorp Drive
Hagerstown, Maryland
