Fat, braless, tattooed, redneck biker-looking kitchen worker: I oughta sue her for defecating my character–talking about me like that!
Incredulous co-worker: Ummm…do you mean defaming?
Fat, braless, tattooed, redneck biker-looking kitchen worker: Yeah…whatever.
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: donna
VP: Opps, sorry. I didn't mean to bump into you with my man-bag.
Office drone: It's called an attache, you jerk! Gross!
Commerce, Michigan
Overheard by: Laughing my man bag off
Political organizer: That crackhead bitch! Well, I don't like to call anyone a crackhead. (starts again) That one lady who smokes crack…
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: I don't like labels, either
Boarding agent: Last call for Felix Calderon, we're about to close the door on flight 2175. You've been waiting for it all day. (shortly after) Boarding has ended for flight 2175. Felix Calderon, you're S.O.L.
Bob Hope Airport
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Alan J. Pedersen
Customer (on speaker): But it's too expensive, it isn't fair! I can't afford it. Can't I just pay you half?
Insurance rep: No, the premium for your vehicle is $435.60. You have to pay the full amount.
Customer: Can you find a way so I can just pay $200? That's all I can afford!
Insurance rep: No. You can't just pay any amount you want. You need to pay what you owe.
(this goes on for 10 minutes)
Insurance rep: Well, fine, if you can't afford to pay the insurance for your car maybe you should sell it and take the damn bus.
Customer: What? What did you just say to me?
Insurance rep: I'll transfer you to my manager.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Working bee, quietly: Santa Claus, you cunt!
King Street
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: highly amused
Coworker #1, holding small letter opener: Do you have one of these, only smaller?
Coworker #2: What's wrong with that one?
Coworker #1: It's too thick. I can't fit in in the smaller slits and it tears the whole thing apart most of the time.
Coworker #3: I had a boyfriend like that once.
Coworker #2: What the fuck?
Santa Ana, California
Overheard by: errica
Old bald lawyer to younger lawyer: I'm waiting for John Smith*, this son of a bitch who…
Third lawyer, strolling up, extending hand: Hi! Pleased to meet you! I'm that son of a bitch!
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Woman at office party: She's got that psychological syndrome where she uses sex to get what she wants from men… What do they call that again?
Man: A whore.
Dario's Restaurant
Rockville Centre, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
New airport paging/information clerk: Paging passenger Emerson Bigguns, passenger Emerson Bigguns. Please call airport information from the nearest white courtesy phone.
(pregnant pause) Fuck!
Airport
San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: YGBSM
