Graphic designer: Ah, shut up, midget mother.
Ad sales girl: What? “Midget mother”? What the fuck does that mean?
Graphic designer: Your mother's a midget.
Scranton, Pennsylvania
Graphic designer: Ah, shut up, midget mother.
Ad sales girl: What? “Midget mother”? What the fuck does that mean?
Graphic designer: Your mother's a midget.
Scranton, Pennsylvania
Coworker #1: There was a barn fire just outside of town. The whole barn was destroyed. The farmer was missing at first, but they found his remains in the barn. They are sending the remains to Toronto to figure out the cause of death.
Coworker #2: Burnt.
Coworker #1: Excuse me?
Coworker #2: Burnt.
Coworker #1: You are a sick fuck, know that?
Waterloo
Canadia
Overheard by: Meesh
Studio exec #1: Do pregnancy tests come in that big of a box?
Studio exec #2: You know… when you buy your pregnancy tests at Costco, you're a huge slut!
Santa Monica, California
Project manager: I'm going to find out who sold that piece, and I'm going to chew their ass!
Boulder, Colorado
Overheard by: skelly
Coworker: They say Micheal Phelps is a good swimmer, but I say screw that, we're all great swimmers! Do you know how far that was to swim? And then you get there and you have to bust through a zygote head first! That takes stamina!
Branchburg, New Jersey
Secretary #1: It's Friday, everybody!
Secretary #2: Shut up.
Secretary #1: Fuck you!
Secretary #2: I love you!
(both giggle)
New York City, New York
Coworker: Gather more than five people together in one place, and odds are that at least one will be a shit-munching little crap-weasel.
Ventura, California
Overheard by: Tom
New worker: So about the health benefit… will my son gets it?
HR: Of course.
New worker: What about my ex-wife? Because for sure I don't want that fucker to get anything.
Menlo Park, California
Coworker to another, fresh out of reconstructive shoulder surgery: You can't even flip people off. There is nothing more pathetic than a man who cannot raise his middle finger.
Financial District
Manhattan, New York
Female bookseller: How long does it usually take to get your deposit back on an apartment?
Male bookseller: It could be two or three months, depending on how big of an asshole they want to be.
Female bookseller: Hm. (pause) Yeah, I prefer smaller assholes.
Bookstore
Des Moines, Iowa
