Receptionist: Will you watch the phones so I can use the restroom, please?
Salesman: Only if I can smell your seat when you get up!
Chicago, Illinois
Receptionist: Will you watch the phones so I can use the restroom, please?
Salesman: Only if I can smell your seat when you get up!
Chicago, Illinois
Boss: You know what my problem is? I’m too nice a guy. I fired [Lenore] this morning. I should’ve kept her on till the end of the day, but then I would’ve felt like I was using her. I’m an idiot.
Salesperson: That’s two problems.
40 Shuman Boulevard
Naperville, Illinois
Secretary: What does it do when it archeeves my email?
Boss: Are you serious?
Secretary: I mean, where does it go after it’s done archeeving?
Boss: Oh god.
5353 McCurry Road
Roscoe, Illinois
Pale girl: Look at these freckles on the back of my hand. Oh, my — what is this dark ring?!
Smoker: That’s called a tan.
130 East Randolph Street
Chicago, Illinois
Grunt #1: So, this report is wrong.
Grunt #2: Yes.
Grunt #1: I see what I did wrong.
Grunt #2: Good!
Grunt #1: Do you know why I filled this out incorrectly?
Grunt #2: Uhhh…
North Side
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Diana_C
Analyst on phone: It's his equipment. I'll shove it in there if it's his equipment. (pause) What do you mean, “that's what they heard about me?”
Skokie, Illinois
Partner: Do you think the girls would mind if I popped an Ambien and went to sleep in their bathroom?
10 South Riverside Plaza
Chicago, Illinois
IT guy #1, looking at coworker's computer: Yep… We got porn!
IT guy #2: Are you surprised?
IT guy #1: No, not really.
Receptionist, passing by: Oh my god! That's not a dildo, that's an act of war!
Chicago, Illinois
Manager: So, how was your weekend?
Intern: Good. I cheated on my boyfriend with two guys.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: The Temp
Cubicle dweller on phone: We're all right, but our piano isn't. It's been through some stuff.
Chicago, Illinois
