Co-worker: You know, if this office were a reality show it would be called Derm’d If You Do And Derm’d If You Don’t. I would go to the bathroom to bitch to the camera in the mirror about our shitty patients.
675 North St. Clair Street
Chicago, Illinois
PVC worker: Hey [Neil], I don’t mean to sound like a pussy, but I just cut my finger off.
1000 Eden Valley Road
Golconda, Nevada
Intern #1: So are you lactose intolerant?
Intern #2: No, I’m not lactose intolerant, it just makes my throat close up.
304 Hudson Street
New York, NY
Assistant: If you want to see how dusty the floor is, just look at the heels on my shoes.
Project Manager: Oh, I thought you were telling me to look at your knees.
1100 West Anderson Court
Oak Creek, Wisconsin
Architect #1: She’s an artist.
Architect #2: No, she’s crazy.
515 Canal Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Emma B
Worker on cell: Sorry about that. I had a pencil in my hand and when I
put the phone to my head, I stabbed myself in the face.
1950 Summit Park Drive
Orlando, Florida
VP: Everyone’s getting pregnant here.
Co-worker: By the way, I’m going to be pregnant and gay on Monday.
1850 Elm Hill Pike
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: V. Schipani
Co-worker #1: Wow, it smells really fruity in here…Fruity in a good way.
Co-worker #2: Of course.
50 Beale Street
San Francisco, California
Worker: [Bryan]’s sick today; he IMed me and said he needs one of us to come to his house and give him a sponge bath.
1831 Chestnut Street
St. Louis, Missouri
Clerk #1: My bladder hurts.
Clerk #2: What for?
Clerk #1: I was holding it all morning, and then I finally went, and now it’s been hurting.
Clerk #2: You probably shouldn’t do that. Your bladder can explode, you know.
49275 Electron Drive
San Diego, California
