Patient on phone: I would like to make an appointment to see Dr. Radcliff*
CSR: Okay, have you seen Dr. Radcliff before or are you a new patient?
Patient: Well, he's been in me three times before (referring to stent placed in heart and legs) So he's pretty much my doctor already!
CSR: Okkkkkk… (nervous chuckle)
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: TMI
Coworker #1: When I was at the hospital, they had this harp player that went around the hospital and played.
Coworker #2: Uh, are you sure they had a harp player? You may have just been on the brink of death, you know.
Dacula, Georgia
Woman on phone: Yes, thank you — she has an excessive licking problem.
East Sprague
Spokane, Washington
Coworker #1: It smells like old people in here.
Coworker #2: What do old people smell like?
Coworker #3: Death and feces.
San Rafael, California
Office worker: To me, Clorox cleans everything. They figure out a way to put Clorox inside a body, and you'll have a cure for Aids.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: anyabelisle
Office guy: As I told him, it’s not the speed of the train that matters when a train hits you, it’s the force. They tried to do CPR and their hands just disappeared into his chest…
515 7th Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Rosskel
Woman: My purse looks pregnant.
Zoetermeer
The Netherlands
Overheard by: Trying to work but laughin' my but of :P
Nurse: Yeah, and she came in with a bandanna rotting inside her. Her brilliant boyfriend used it as a condom.
Girl #1: Dude! Sperm will soak right through that shit! He should have used a plastic bag or something. Maybe some Saran Wrap and a rubber band.
Girl #2: Seriously! What if she got pregnant?
Girl #1: The baby will come out with a doo-rag on its head, saying, ‘Whassup, Moms?!’
Saratoga & Kiely
Overheard by: People are sick
Exasperated meeting contact: I think the temp I hired is mildly retarded, so I’m going to need your help with this.
Concierge: My mother drank and smoked while pregnant with me.
Penn and Liberty Avenues
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Worker: Hey, Cheryl*, do you know where the Tylenol is?
Receptionist: It should be under the fax machine. Do you have a headache?
Worker (nonchalantly): No, my balls really hurt today.
Receptionist (after long pause): Oh.
Omaha, Nebraska
