User: If you don’t turn my cell phone back on today, I’ll tell the families of my patients and their lawyers that you are responsible for the patient’s death, because I couldn’t be reached!
Call center operator: Sir, if you are expecting your patients to die, perhaps they should switch to a different physician…
310 W. Bakerview Road
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: Josh Sinnett
Batty old receptionist to worker: So what did you do over Thanksgiving weekend?
Worker: Oh, I delivered twins!
Batty old receptionist: Okay…
Worker: I'm a Big Sister with Big Brothers/Big Sisters, and my little sister got pregnant. Guess that means I'm not such a good Big Sister…
Beverly Hills, California
Inspirational speaker: The left side of the brain in charge of your creative process, so when you don’t feel inspired, take a deep breath closing your right nostril with your finger so all the air goes only and directly to the left side of your brain…
Audience, while inhaling as told: Wow…
Miami, Florida
Secretary #1: Yeah, he has warosis. That's when you've just gotten back from a war and you have all this trauma from it.
Secretary #2: Oh gosh. I've heard of that – my granddad had it when he got back from the war.
Queen Street
Melbourne
Australia
Worker #1: Thanks for the pretzels.
Worker #2: Oh, now the bag is dirty.
Worker #1: I’ll have you know my hands are clean. I sit here at my desk and sanitize them all day.
Worker #3: You know, I can sanitize you. All women need to be sanitized.
9725 Datapoint Drive
San Antonio, Texas
Female coworker: I wish I was disabled.
Male coworker: What? Why?
Female coworker: ‘Cause then people would do things for you, like carry your stuff and get you things.
Male coworker: People do that for pretty people — why don’t you wish to be pretty?
910 Louisiana Avenue
Houston, Texas
Server admin: Yay! Malaria!
State & Water
Peoria, Illinois
Overheard by: only girl in an office of men…
Patient on phone: I would like to make an appointment to see Dr. Radcliff*
CSR: Okay, have you seen Dr. Radcliff before or are you a new patient?
Patient: Well, he's been in me three times before (referring to stent placed in heart and legs) So he's pretty much my doctor already!
CSR: Okkkkkk… (nervous chuckle)
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: TMI
Coworker #1: When I was at the hospital, they had this harp player that went around the hospital and played.
Coworker #2: Uh, are you sure they had a harp player? You may have just been on the brink of death, you know.
Dacula, Georgia
Woman on phone: Yes, thank you — she has an excessive licking problem.
East Sprague
Spokane, Washington
