Manager: Yes, he's alive because he ate monkey shit.
Granby Street
Norfolk, Virginia
Manager: Yes, he's alive because he ate monkey shit.
Granby Street
Norfolk, Virginia
Coworker eating twig cereal: I have eaten so much fiber today, when I get home, I’m gonna crap a wicker basket.
Rochester, New York
Giddy woman: You like alcohol, don’t you?
Not-So-Giddy woman: I like when everyone around me’s drunk. It makes my life easier.
Giddy woman: I like when I’m drunk. It makes my life easier.
10 Exchange Place
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: 3rd cubicle to the left
Salesmen on phone with client: I did steroids in college, so I understand where you're coming from.
Plymouth, Massachusetts
Student: What is this bit?
Professor: Which bit?
Student: The kinda-purplish, squishy bit.
Professor, to assistant: Do you know what that is?
Assistant: No.
Professor, to student: That’s not important. You can ignore that.
USC Anatomy lab
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Kylie
Employee: How long do I have to work here before I receive health
insurance?
Boss: Oh…Um…We don’t do that here. I know some hospitals that
won’t report you to the credit bureaus, though.
1101 Robin Hill Lane
Bel Air, Maryland
Woman to on cell: Hi, this is Susan Smith*. I was successful using a toothbrush so I don't need your help. Thanks for offering. Bye.
Glenview, Illinois
Overheard by: Jess
Senior editor: I know! I could sue the company. I injured my toenail at a company event. What do you think loss of a toenail is worth?
Writer: I don't know. See what they're selling for on eBay.
Renton, Washington
Guy, coming out of the men’s room: Wait. Someone actually stole the posters… from around the urinal?
Comic book guy: Don’t ask me to explain it.
Guy: Were they unfamiliar with the concept of nerd hygiene?
Broadway
New York City, New York
Nurse #1: I love poop!
Nurse #2 to everyone: She's losing it!
Hospital
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Lauren
