Health & Hygiene

Male coworker to Helen: I shaved, Helen.
Helen: I thought we were going to keep that a secret.

Houston, Texas

Training teacher: So, what are some things that you guys think are covered under the Americans with Disabilities Act?
Male teen student: Obesity?
Training teacher, with blank stare: Um, I don't think so. Anyone else?
Female teen student: How about being an old person?
Training teacher: Oooooooh boy. How about we just take a look at this slide up here…

Duane Reade Career Center
Manhattan, New York

Co-Worker #1: My sister just had her baby this morning!
Co-Worker #2: How exciting! Wait, who just had a baby last month?
Co-Worker #1: My sister.
Co-Worker #2: The same one?

1700 Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Stephanie

Male tech #1: Chris, are you pregnant and considering adoption?
Male tech #2: Yes. Wait, what?

Denville, New Jersey

Overheard by: BabakganoosH

Maniac: Come in, I won’t bite anymore.
Worker: …Won’t bite…anymore?
Maniac: I usedta work at a veternarian. He usedta lock me up with the animals in a cage! When they’d bark, the only way to get them to stop was to bark at them. And bite them–on the ear!

708 Broadway elevator
New York, NY

Overheard by: Kevin Davidson

Psychiatrist: I once made the mistake of taking a cat in the shower with me.

Elizabeth, New Jersey

Overheard by: invisi-tern

Worker #1: I thought you were supposed to be at the doctor.
Worker #2: Look at me! I can’t go in there! He’d put me on something for sure!

4182 Forsyth Road
Macon, Georgia

Worker #1: I’m expecting my new inbox today.
Worker #2: You’re pregnant again?
Worker #1: …

6475 SW Fallbrook Place
Beaverton, Oregon

Coworker #1: I had two gallstones removed years ago, and I kept them. I want to get them made into earrings for my wife.
Coworker #2: But that's creepy. What if she doesn't want to wear them?
Coworker #1: If she really loved me, she would!

Norwood Park South
Norwood, Massachusetts

Female coworker on phone: I am really sorry my pregnancy is an inconvenience to you, but guess what: it is an inconvenience to me too!

Westland, Michigan

Overheard by: Krystal