Health & Hygiene

General manager: Did Jimmy* clean the wall in the bathroom?
Business manager: Yeah. Who put boogers on the wall, anyway?

Main Street
Saginaw, Michigan

Loud man complaining to librarian: Can you turn the heat up or the air conditioning down? It's too cold in here. It might be fine for someone with type o blood, but I'm freezing!

Public Library
La Jolla, California

Interviewer: In you medical record it states you had tuberculosis, how did you come across that?
Former sailor/job seeker: I dunno… Probably the whorehouses.

La Plata, Maryland

Overheard by: Got the job ayway!

Co-worker #1: So she is like, what, the second one pregnant?
Co-worker #2: Yes, you have to be careful drinking water around here.
Co-worker #1: Stop it! Stop it! Now I have to go take a pregnancy test!

1250 Broadway
New York, NY

Boss, on phone: Throw up… Just throw up! (slams phone)

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: joe marks

Worker bee: Well… That’s the last time I put fiber powder on my macaroni and cheese.

Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia

Worker, rushing into boss's office: Guess what I just got the kids for Christmas! It's hand sanitizer for kids and it's called “cooter killer.”
Boss: (stares)
Worker: I mean, “cootie killer”!

Hopkinsville, Kentucky

Overheard by: will1966

Student: It kinda smells like bunnies.
Supervisor: What?
Student: Yeah, bunnies. Haven’t you ever smelled bunnies?
Supervisor: Uh, no, I don’t go around sniffing rodents usually. And besides, I’m congested, so all I’m smelling today is boogers.

1145 E. South Campus Drive
Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: Rasputin

Foxy lady #1: My boss smells like he hasn’t bathed in a month. He smells like his private parts!
Foxy lady #2: Gross like a huge unbathed dick.
Foxy lady #1: Yeah.

The Bronx
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Banana Forest Thief

Daughter-in-law cooing over another shopper’s baby: Awww — look at that face!
Mother-in-law: You’ll have one of your own soon.
Daughter-in-law: [Snorts] Talk to your son about that.
Mother-in-law: Well, that’s between the two of you, I think.
Daughter-in-law: You know how I am. If I don’t get what I want, I just go out and get it myself. Remember how I wanted a kitten?

Oxford Valley Mall
Langhorne, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Fellow shopper