Health & Hygiene

Middle-aged worker bee on phone: Mother, are you pregnant?

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Older male patient: I have been previously diagnosed with glaucoma, cataract and immaculate degeneration.
Doctor: Uh, do you mean macular degeneration?

Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Barry

Coworker sprawled on couch, humming taps: This is for all the brain cells that have been lost today.

Willow Lawn
Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: Still giggling

Boss: I got my wife a colonic for Valentines Day.
Employee: Oh yeah, sounds romantic.
Boss: It's like Groundhog Day.
Employee: With Bill Murray.
Boss: Yeah, it comes out for a little peek.

Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Why be fake

Sales rep: Where's Eric?
Secretary: Oh, he went to buy a trash can for tampons.

Countryside, Illinois

Customer on cell with full cart of groceries: Hello? Yeah, I had to stay at work late 'cos one of the other girls was sick… I just got in my car now.

Mamaroneck, New York

Overheard by: The Cashier

Guy, waxing lyrical in bathroom stall: Plop plop. Piss piss. Another dump I slowly dismiss. Although they don't smell like flowers, I can do this all day cause I'm paid by the hour.

St. Petersburg, Florida

Overheard by: Joe the average

Coworker #1: Ah, look at the massive turd coming out of the fish!
Coworker #2: Oh, where?
Coworker #3: Is it doing a poo?!
Coworker #2: Oh wow!
Coworker #4: It's good you all have work to do.

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Not Looking…

Boss: I'm jealous, I wish I had a colon infection.

Falls Church, Virginia

New worker: So about the health benefit… will my son gets it?
HR: Of course.
New worker: What about my ex-wife? Because for sure I don't want that fucker to get anything.

Menlo Park, California