Employee: This is going to make me crazy. Why do they keep submitting these requests?
Manager: Seriously, I'm not in the mood today. You are going to get me all riled up.
Employee: I know. I scream every week in my therapy session.
Manager: About this?
Employee: No.
San Francisco, California
Coworker to another: Well, I'm going to go find a razor blade. Talk to you later.
Library, Midwest
Annoyed coworker: What's wrong there? Do you have a booger?
Coworker, picking his nose: No, my brain was itching.
Reston, Virginia
Overheard by: Glad they didn't pick me
Woman to man making pot of coffee: Oh, that smells delicious.
Man: I made a lot, would you like some?
Woman: Perhaps I'll have half a cup later, but right now, I'll settle for a facial.
Evanston, Illinois
Coworker: They say Micheal Phelps is a good swimmer, but I say screw that, we're all great swimmers! Do you know how far that was to swim? And then you get there and you have to bust through a zygote head first! That takes stamina!
Branchburg, New Jersey
Teller #1: That person smelled so bad… I thought I had stepped in poop and then I didn't see poop so I thought I was pooping and I checked!
Teller #2: What would you have done if you pulled your hand back and there was poop all over it?!
Teller #1: I ain't know, I was gonna cross that bridge when I got to it, okay?
Charleston, South Carolina
Unwell-looking manager, coughing: I think I might go home a little earlier today. (coughs) I'm feeling a bit fluey.
Paranoid coworker: I don't want the flu–don't come anywhere near me!
Perky coworker to manager: I've had the flu vaccination–you can come all over me!
Melbourne
Canadia
Overheard by: confused but amused
Girl: My cats chewed through my computer's power cord this morning. (sighs) I guess I'm going to have to bite the bullet and buy a new one.
Apple guy: Or you could use that bullet to shoot your cats!
(girl stares at him)
Apple guy: Uh… I take back that comment heartily.
Apple Store
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: Misaki
Girl #1: I auditioned for Rent when I was in college.
Girls #2-#4, in a fit of hysterics: No way! Uh-uh! Whoa! (they shriek)
Girl #1: Yeah, I was living in New York that summer, and I mean, I just loved Aids! How could I not try out?
San Francisco, California
Coworker, returning from Walgreens: I just got my crazy pills! Oh, and I got Mentos.
San Francisco, California
