Guy to friend: I need to get a girlfriend just for like a week or so. Just to get that stench on me. Besides, girls dig guys with hairy arms.
Shanghai
China
Guy to friend: I need to get a girlfriend just for like a week or so. Just to get that stench on me. Besides, girls dig guys with hairy arms.
Shanghai
China
Curious office worker: How was your poop?
Man who just finished pooping: It was a magnificent log. I could have paddled across the Atlantic on it.
Curious office worker: Just the Atlantic?
Man who just finished pooping: Yeah, I'm out of shape.
Curious office worker: Oh.
Aberdeen, Maryland
Male Student #1: Yeah, and he wouldn't even look at me in the shower.
Male Student #2: What the fuck's his problem?
Chicago, Illinois
15-year-old to sister, after receiving her first pap smear: It was weird!
14-year-old sister: What happened?
15-year-old: I took my pants off. Then he put his finger in my butt!
14-year-old: Oh my god! Then what?
15-year-old: That lady stood there and watched!
Louisiana
Female coworker to friend: I just don't know what to do… Kissing him literally makes me sick!
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Carrie
Coworker: Yeah, so long as it's pink I don't care if it's bloody. Wait a sec…
Texas
Overheard by: Janie
Young office worker to coworker, just before lunch: I had unprotected sex last night, so I have to run out and get the morning-after pill. Do you want me to grab you something while I'm out?
Trevose, Pennsylvania
Employee: My hand is starting to tingle. It might be carpal tunnel.
Boss: Stop being a little bitch.
Financial Firm
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Michael
Quiet voice in stall, after long gaseous emission: Thank you, lord.
Melville, New York
Overheard by: dying inside
Tech guy: I do have an example dump, if you want to look at it.
Des Plaines, Illinois
