PMSing office worker: I'm in such a bad mood. I'm bloated and eating everything in sight. It's like, “just bleed, dammit!”
Sympathetic coworker #1: I started this morning, so you should be okay soon.
Sympathetic coworker #2: I started yesterday.
Only male in the office: Fuck me.
Norman, Oklahoma
Fellow cube dweller on cell to friend: He gets all clingy every time I have a miscarriage.
Henderson, Nevada
Overheard by: Sal Sagev
Coworker on cell: I have a confession to make fast, horse peeps! Are you ready for this? (pause) The reason I have to go home is to do number two. Because last time I think it came out like a subway sandwich. And the toilet doesn?t work upstairs anymore. (pause) Yes, that was me! So there, I feel better now.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Trevor Arnold
Female boss to employee: Take your cane and come here!
Male employee: It's not a cane!
Montreal
Canadia
Overheard by: Ron
Employee to intern: That'll back me up for a month! I don't want your chocolate.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Chocolateer
Middle-aged coworker, about applying makeup to upper eyelids: I can't do it because my eyes are all squinty.
Young Asian coworker, jokingly: Yeah, me either.
Middle-aged coworker, serious: But that's because of where you're from.
Male coworker, walking in: Oxnard?
Thousand Oaks, California
Sales rep, about clients coming in later: Just so you know, one of them is deaf.
Secretary: Oh. Should we have printed some of the reports in braille?
Austin, Texas
Trainer to another: Well, after she threw up on me, it made it hard for me to kiss her afterwards.
Kentucky
Coworker: I'm going home late tonight. My wife just went to the dentist and she's going to be a pain.
Santa Clarita, California
Office girl to another: When you boil it down, all babies really need are titties and diapers.
Houston, Texas
