Coworker on cell: I have a confession to make fast, horse peeps! Are you ready for this? (pause) The reason I have to go home is to do number two. Because last time I think it came out like a subway sandwich. And the toilet doesn?t work upstairs anymore. (pause) Yes, that was me! So there, I feel better now.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Trevor Arnold
Female boss to employee: Take your cane and come here!
Male employee: It's not a cane!
Montreal
Canadia
Overheard by: Ron
Employee to intern: That'll back me up for a month! I don't want your chocolate.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Chocolateer
Middle-aged coworker, about applying makeup to upper eyelids: I can't do it because my eyes are all squinty.
Young Asian coworker, jokingly: Yeah, me either.
Middle-aged coworker, serious: But that's because of where you're from.
Male coworker, walking in: Oxnard?
Thousand Oaks, California
Sales rep, about clients coming in later: Just so you know, one of them is deaf.
Secretary: Oh. Should we have printed some of the reports in braille?
Austin, Texas
Trainer to another: Well, after she threw up on me, it made it hard for me to kiss her afterwards.
Kentucky
Coworker: I'm going home late tonight. My wife just went to the dentist and she's going to be a pain.
Santa Clarita, California
Office girl to another: When you boil it down, all babies really need are titties and diapers.
Houston, Texas
Woman in bathroom: Smell that peach! You know it's clean!
Pflugerville, Texas
Customer service rep: Do you spell that with a “k” or with a “c”?
Customer: With a “k”, like “cancer”.
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: That's so wrong
