Health & Hygiene

Legally blind patient: Ow! Owww, owwww! Hey, you can't do this to me! Where's the doctor?
Man in white coat: I am the doctor.

Hospital
Manhattan, New York

Office lady to friend: When you went with me for pedicures, were you with me?

Oakland, California

Overheard by: Alchemist George

Female manager to male manager annoying her: So how does your coffee and Visine taste this morning?

Bakersfield, California

Coworker, hanging up phone: My daughter swallowed a Lego, I gotta go.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: The_SuperVixen

Office girl, calling boss on phone: Hey! Uh… Help me out here. What's that research called that they're doing with the baby fetuses?
Boss: Umm… What?
Office girl: Did I lose you?

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: freudian flip

Office girl #1: Is that soy milk?
Office girl #2: Yes, I'm allergic to cow's milk.
Office girl #1: Oh? Because of the caffeine?

Office Kitchen
London
England

Overheard by: LizD

Coworker on phone: Ugh, it's just the bloating and the pain. (pause) Oh, wait! I think things are on the move! (rushes to bathroom)

Ypsilanti, Michigan

Overheard by: CubeDweller

Female coworker #1: He told me I have astigmatism.
Female coworker #2: Oh my god! I don't even know what astigmatism is.
Female coworker #1: It's what my sister has.

Los Angeles, California

Receptionist to coworker: I have the hiccups, so I need some medical advice.

Madison, Wisconsin

Front desk clerk to another, about smoking during second pregnancy: Well, at least with this one, I am not drinking.

Williamsburg, Virginia