Project lead: It’s like making a vegetarian eat a hamster.
Burton Drive
Santa Clara, California
Overheard by: Rob
Project lead: It’s like making a vegetarian eat a hamster.
Burton Drive
Santa Clara, California
Overheard by: Rob
Peon #1: Did you hear they’re thinking about banning all gel-enhanced bras on airplanes?
Peon #2: Women wear gel in their bras?
Peon #1: It’s like padding, but gel, which gives it a more natural enhancement and feel.
Peon #2: That’s false advertising!
Nova Scotia
Canadia
Employee #1: So we don’t sell insurance! What’s hard to understand about that?
Employee #2: I don’t know. It’s like, ‘Don’t yell at the broccoli plant for not growing carrots.’
2145 Riverside Drive
Macon, Georgia
Overheard by: not an insurance salesman
Electronics employee on phone: You’re supposed to call 911 in case of emergencies, not Wal-Mart.
Wal-Mart Supercenter
Oakland, California
Overheard by: Mike
Female supervisor: Ewww!
CCR: What?
Female supervisor: I was trying to find January, and I got ink all over me!
1 Ivybrook Boulevard
Ivyland, Pennsylvania
Old lady peon, bursting excitedly into office: I just went to the craft store and picked up some holiday window clings for my office!
Young male peon: Wow. That’s… fantastic.
Old lady peon: I’ve got Santa Claus and reindeer and snowmen and snowflakes… I asked about Hanukkah stuff, but they didn’t have any. I’m going to do this for every holiday! This is great!
Young male peon: What about Kwanzaa?
Old lady peon: Oh, no, that’s a man-made holiday.
Sacramento, California
[Male employee #1 offers doughnut to female employee.]
Female employee: I am not putting that into my body.
Male employee #1: That is pretty pompous.
Male employee #2: I know! You should see what she puts into her body, and how fast!
Male employee #1, after long silence: Um, so, did you see my e-mail from yesterday?
North Lamar Boulevard
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Oh really?
Analyst: Somebody open a Help Desk ticket… I need a wet bar. It would be nice to have some brandy next to the coffee… It’s the end of the day — it’s Friday… I need some alcohol. I need some help.
Hospital
Evanston, Illinois
Employee #1, 45 minutes after asked to perform simple task: Here are those documents you wanted. All the copies are underneath the one that’s on top of it.
Employee #2: Listen, shitbag — I was actually hoping to go to lunch today, so spare me the retard explanations, please! [To another employee] Do we have an ODP employee section we could put her in?
Employee #3: Nah. We’re still just using that dumpster out front.
132 Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Female worker: Hey, stay out of my pants!
Guy folding jeans: Uh, these are Aric’s*!
Clothing store, Fairfield Commons Mall
Dayton, Ohio
