Getting Killed on Public Transportation Like That

Coworker #1: So, a magnetic train crashed in Germany, killing twenty-three.
Coworker #2: … Stupid Krauts.

70th Street and Park Avenue
New York, New York

Posted on March 12, 2008
Coworkers, Death, Default, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Gripes, New York

When Tech Support Fixes Courtney Love’s Computer, They Use Clorox and Surgical Masks

Nerdy worker: Well, unfortunately she had rubbed her butt across the floor. Man, it smelled so bad.
Coworker: Oh my god!
Nerdy worker: Yeah, we used some Febreze on it, so it was a little better yesterday.

Highway 280
Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: Glad I don’t work for Stanley Steamer

Posted on March 11, 2008
Alabama, Body Parts, Coworkers, Default, Dorks, Geeks, & Nerds, Gripes, Sensory Experiences

And Stop Sending Male Enhancement Spam to Our Printer

Boss: Brandon*, no matter what you think, those pills will not make you grow three inches. Get back to work.

55th Street and 3rd Avenue
New York, New York

Posted on March 11, 2008
Body Parts, Bosses, Default, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Lies, New York

I Had a Really Sore Bone

Designer #1: I couldn’t walk for an hour after he finished with me the last time!
Designer #2: Uhhh…
Designer #1: My ankle guy!

Corporate Park Drive
Herndon, Virginia

Overheard by: the other other jen

Posted on March 11, 2008
Body Parts, Compliments, Default, Designers and Photographers, Gripes, Virginia

The Laissez-Faire Kind

Younger peon: Remember those Richard Scarry books with the animals all dressed up in–
Older peon: I haven’t read kids’ books since the second grade. Seriously.
Younger peon: What, your kids never read children’s books? What kind of parent are you?!

150 Federal Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on March 7, 2008
Arts, Coworkers, Default, Family, Gripes, Massachusetts

“Night Sweats Are the Best Thing Since Dark Side of the Moon!” Raves Rolling Stone

Manager #1: These mood swings are driving me crazy. Everyone in my house is afraid of me. They are all walking on eggshells.
Manager #2: Menopause rocks.

365 West Passaic Street
Rochelle Park, New Jersey

Overheard by: cubicle right outside

Posted on March 6, 2008
Bosses, Comebacks, Default, Family, Feelings, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, New Jersey

But She Won’t Go Anywhere Near a Carrot

Boss: The thing I love about Fiona* is that you’ll offer her a stick and she’ll immediately grab the wrong end.

Chislehurst, Kent
England

Overheard by: Bob Cat

Posted on March 5, 2008
Bosses, Default, England, Gripes, Philosophy, Words

Don’t Make Me Say It

Office mate: What were you doing in my crotch?!

Office, 42nd Street
New York, New York

Posted on March 5, 2008
Body Parts, Coworkers, Default, Gripes, New York, Questions

Dude, Just Pull the Tray Out and Put It in Again

Man, to copier: There is paper in there! Stop being stupid! No, I will not add paper to tray four, I can tell you that right now. I will shoot someone before I add paper to tray four.

Berry College
Rome, Georgia

Posted on February 27, 2008
Crazies, Default, Georgia, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Technology

I’d Write Him a Nasty Note, but My Pen’s Out of Ink

Office guy #1: Apparently we can’t have mechanical pencils anymore.
Office guy #2: Dammit! That supply czar is drunk with power.

1255 23rd Street NW
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Kristen

Posted on February 26, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Gripes, Washington DC

Gripes