Chick: Nice flowers!
Dude: Yeah, I had a bad day yesterday and treated myself. You ever have one of those?
Chick: Yeah, but I just drink.
1440 Broadway
New York, New York
Chick: Nice flowers!
Dude: Yeah, I had a bad day yesterday and treated myself. You ever have one of those?
Chick: Yeah, but I just drink.
1440 Broadway
New York, New York
IT guy: I don’t know about your god, but my god says it’s okay.
Stamford, Connecticut
Lady with sick cat: My husband is going to kill me if I spend any more money on this cat.
Man with dog: That’s sad that you’re married to someone that’s like that. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my pets.
Lady with sick cat: You want to go get a beer after this?
Jersey Avenue
Port Jervis, New York
Receptionist: This morning I was sitting up here and I looked out the window in the courtyard and there was a guy getting dressed.
Guy: Black guy? Construction boots? [Receptionist nods.] Yeah, he sleeps there.
Receptionist: Hmmm. I wouldn’t think you’d wanna sleep in the courtyard of an office.
Guy: Well, I imagine if you’re homeless that’s one of the better spots.
Receptionist: Oh, I didn’t realize he was homeless. I just thought he was resting or whatever…
2931 North Druid Hills Road
Atlanta, Georgia
Coworker #1: Is it wrong that I was breastfed until I was 16?
Coworker #2: By your dad?
Legal Seafood
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Bottle Fed
IT guy: Hey, Kelly* just showed me her slingbox.
Boss: Reeeally?
It guy: Yeah. It works fine and everything, but I wouldn’t pay for it.
Boss: If you get her drunk she’ll give it to you for free!
It guy: Ohhh… I think we’re talking about different things…
Boss: Reeeally?
Bay Area, California
Overheard by: Would get sick of it anyway…
Coworker #1 on phone: Yes, this is Allie*… [Screams.]Coworker #2: What’s wrong?
Coworker #1: They think my prize steer is loose on the playground.
741 Griffin Road
Albany, New York
Coworker: You keep hearing all this stuff about cherries being good for you. They’re actually not that good for you. It’s just what the people in northern Michigan say to get you to buy their cherries!
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Male coworker: So,what’s new?
Female coworker, surfing the net: I don’t know… Britney Spears had her kids taken away.
Male coworker: I heard about that.
Female coworker: They’re not very cute, anyway.
Male coworker: It’s because she has an ugly puss.
Female coworker: What?!
Male coworker: Women with ugly vaginas have ugly babies.
East Evergreen Street
Springfield, Missouri
Overheard by: Sarah
Waiter: She did not like it in the ass.
Waitress: Really?
Waiter: At first, I mean.
Waitress: But as she got more and more drunk, it felt better?
Waiter: I don’t know about better, but she stopped yelling.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
