Boss: I would love to be the male equivalent of Tara Reid.
98 San Jacinto Boulevard
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: amused
Boss: I would love to be the male equivalent of Tara Reid.
98 San Jacinto Boulevard
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: amused
Intern: My uterus is dry-heaving.
Supervisor: Wow.
242 West 38th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Sarah
Opinionated coworker: My wife’s mad at me because I think she’s an idiot.
Main Street and Grant Avenue
Columbus, Ohio
X-ray tech getting off phone: My son wants me to come home so bad. My kids always get like that when they are sick.
Coworker: Well, isn’t your husband at home with him?
X-ray tech: Yes, but they always want me instead — they are so attached. It’s probably because I used to sing them this really cute song when they were babies.
Coworker: What’s that?
X-ray tech: ‘Mommy’s your best friend, Mommy’s your best friend, Daddy’s your second best friend!’
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Thugalicious Baller
Manager: Yeah, so at this new salon I can get my hair highlighted for $120, and that includes the shampoo, haircut, and blow job.
Bethesda, Maryland
Waitress: I ate so many pork sausages yesterday at the picnic, when I fart it sounds like a pig squealing [makes loud squealing sounds over and over].
Waiter: Did you used to be a guy or something?
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Boss, to friend: So then I took her out to my car and let little Spiderman fire his web shooter all over her fa…
Employee, from back in the stockroom: Aaaaaaaaaaaaarghh! Jesus Christ, I'm quitting.
Hot Topic
West Virginia
Overheard by: oh dear
Assistant: Oh my god, your caulk is dripping!
5001 East Harry Street
Wichita, Kansas
Worker lady: This year is my last birthday.
Post office, 10 Atlantic Street
Newark, New Jersey
Lady #1: … But he’s drunk all the time.
Lady #2: Everyone’s drunk all the time. I might be drunk right now!
8140 Lehigh Avenue
Morton Grove, Illinois
Overheard by: Amanda
