Lady suit: Well, if she is suicidal, she shouldn’t be traveling alone…
Male suit, staring into distance: Mmm-hmmm.
Lady suit: … Or drinking alone…
Male suit, staring into distance: Mmm-hmmm.

Penn Station
New York, New York

Overheard by: passerby

Office grunt: Now, you know they make them tuxedos with the camouflage vests… Them thangs is sharp!

Anniston, Alabama

Customer service manager on personal call: You went to somebody’s funeral and sold purses?!

Chamblee, Georgia

Overheard by: achooAlison

Office peon: You smell like a giant fruit fly!

Fishers, Indiana

Coworker: If you’re gonna do it, do it hard so I can’t breathe.

113 East Carroll Street
Salisbury, Maryland

Office girl #1: But I thought he was, like, Mexican or Brazilian or something.
Office girl #2: No, he’s Filipino.
Office girl #1: Oh, so, like… Um…
Office girl #2: It’s like half-Mexican, half-Chinese.
Office girl #1: But he’s gay, right?
Office girl #2: Definitely — all gay.
Office girl #1: He’s from Gay Land!

Ad agency
Toronto, Ontario

Overheard by: Half-Offended-Half-Laughing

Bimbo: She really didn’t betray him other than sleeping with someone else.

1300 Riverside Avenue
Fort Collins, Colorado

Overheard by: dazed and confused

Cube girl: It was like Donald Trump in Hammer pants.

Stratford, Connecticut

Employee to IT: So, I have to get my kid baptized, and I’ve been search the web all day. I find this site that says ‘Weddings and baptisms,’ so I open it up and — you guessed it — porn!

20800 Harvard Road
Cleveland, Ohio

Peon on phone, about his son: … So I bought him condoms… Yes, Mom, I know he’s 15, but I was having sex at 15…

Toronto, Ontario

Overheard by: amused and disgusted all at once