Employee, about jury duty: I figure if they’re in court, they’re guilty of something, or why would they be there?
323 East Grand River Avenue
Howell, Michigan
Overheard by: Dunder Mifflin
Employee, about jury duty: I figure if they’re in court, they’re guilty of something, or why would they be there?
323 East Grand River Avenue
Howell, Michigan
Overheard by: Dunder Mifflin
Coworker #1: So, I got my girlfriend to give me a wax job on the weekend — y’know — down there.
Coworker #2: Oh, yeah? How was that? Nice?
Coworker #1: No… She waxed my piercing off through the skin.
Coworker #2: Shit!
Coworker #1: Yeah…
Government Department
London
England
Bimbette: I need a shorter stud for my Monroe piercing ’cause I can’t go down on my boyfriend. And… I like to do that.
Piercer: That sucks for both of you then, because you can’t have a shorter stud in yet.
Bimbette: I can’t suck dick! [Her mom leaves the store.]
Lake Forest, California
Overheard by: indigo_dream
Secretary: I’ve got a bad rash in between my boobs.
Coworker: Uh…
Secretary: See, it’s really bad.
Coworker: Uh… [tries to look away but is too slow].
Secretary, smelling her fingers: It smells real bad, too.
Liberty and Division Street
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Violated
Marketing manager justifying event expenses: It costs a lot for a naked elephant ride these days. Not like it used to be.
980 North Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Female coworker: Paul*, did you stick your finger in the machine last night?
Macon Avenue
Asheville, North Carolina
Cube rat #1 in response to a mime: Thank you, Marcel Marceau… Hey, is he dead?
Cube rat #2: I hadn’t heard anything.
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Silent Observer
Associate: Dude, I just saw my first hot Wal-Mart employee!
RadioShack
California
Overheard by: DRM
Tech: When you open a Ziploc to find a severed hand…
Owings Mills, Maryland
Woman: Watch out for him — he eats women’s shoes.
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Glad I’m wearing men’s shoes
