Computer Technician: Wow, it’s amazing what kind of difference a couple of inches can make…Have you seen [Ben]’s?

The other technicians burst out laughing.

Computer Technican: I meant his new 19″ monitor. Grow up.

1035 64th Avenue SE
Calgary, Alberta

Office girl #1 in skimpy outfit gathering promotional material: You look whipped.
Office girl #2: Yeah… I had a date. I didn’t get home until four A.M.
Office girl #1: I didn’t get to sleep until four A.M., either, but that’s because I was having sex… with my man…
Office girl #2: Yeah, I was at a bar. It was the first date. We got really drunk and I rode him in the booth.
Office girl #1: Nice.

1142 Broadway
New York, New York

Overheard by: Hellooo… I am sitting right here!

Desk monkey #1: I heard she and her boyfriend had Brazilian waxes done together. The man’s treatment is called the ‘free willy wax.’
Desk monkey #2: Oooh! Can you do that? I mean, you can’t wax a man’s balls!


Overheard by: Ouch!

Coworker #1: This weekend I was Wiiing for Jesus.
Coworker #2: What the hell? You took a piss for God?
Coworker #1: No, you moron — Nintendo Wii. I played at my church’s youth group fair… You are one sick bitch.

Binghamton University
New York, New York

Overheard by: Cube Farmer

20-ish female coworker: I’ve never understood why people do lines of coke off of toilet seats at clubs.
Middle-aged male coworker: Well, it’s not as wet as the sink…
20-ish female coworker: But isn’t that dirty?
Middle-aged male coworker: No one ever poops at a club.

1054 31st Street NW
Washington, DC

Overheard by: I prefer a table

Proud boss, hands on hips: I got a call from my wife today. I’m going to be Jesus Christ tomorrow in my church play!

Nashua, New Hampshire

Overheard by: freakazoid

Boss: I would love to be the male equivalent of Tara Reid.

98 San Jacinto Boulevard
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: amused

Intern: My uterus is dry-heaving.
Supervisor: Wow.

242 West 38th Street
New York, New York

Overheard by: Sarah

Opinionated coworker: My wife’s mad at me because I think she’s an idiot.

Main Street and Grant Avenue
Columbus, Ohio

X-ray tech getting off phone: My son wants me to come home so bad. My kids always get like that when they are sick.
Coworker: Well, isn’t your husband at home with him?
X-ray tech: Yes, but they always want me instead — they are so attached. It’s probably because I used to sing them this really cute song when they were babies.
Coworker: What’s that?
X-ray tech: ‘Mommy’s your best friend, Mommy’s your best friend, Daddy’s your second best friend!’

Newark, Delaware

Overheard by: Thugalicious Baller