Gossip

Co-worker #1 walks by [Seth].

Co-worker #1: Hi!
Seth: …

Co-worker #1: Yo, what’s the deal with [Seth]? That guy is a straight up tower shooter.

4 Airport Park Boulevard
Latham, New York

Overheard by: Nathan

Co-worker: I didn’t know we were supposed to wear green today. I guess I didn’t get that memo.
Manager: I didn’t get that one either; just the one about the underwear.

6611 Preston Avenue
Livermore, California

Cashier: Is that the one you were engaged to?
Manager: Yes.
Cashier: Who broke it off?
Manager: He did. But I’m glad he did — he was a nutcase.
Cashier: Oh. Really crazy or just strange?
Manager: Crazy. Didn’t I tell you? He proposed to me again at his mother’s funeral after he had broken off the first engagement.
Customer and cashier: What?!
Manager: Yeah. He got down on one knee in front of all his family as they were lowering the freakin’ casket with his dead mother into the ground and asked me to marry him again. I said no, of course.
Cashier: Well, that’s awkward.

Grocery store
New Jersey

Overheard by: Laura

Guy on phone: We got new digs over here! Yeah, we moved out of the building with all the hot woman and into a big corporate building!

1166 Avenue of the Americas
New York, New York

Guy #1: She was hurt pretty bad in a car wreck a few years ago. She told me she hurt her knee, her back, and her brain.
Guy #2: Wait… So you have been pursuing a girl that has brain damage?
Guy #1: Hey, her vagina works.

571 South Floyd Street
Louisville, Kentucky

Boss to customer: Would you like to try my meat? It tastes just like maple! Ask anyone — they all tried it!

Lee, New Hampshire

Co-worker #1: So do you think the developers can hit this target?
Co-worker #2: I mean the bar is so low how can they not?
Co-worker #1: Yeah, I suppose even people in the Special Olympics can make it over this one.

10866 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Hick girl #1: Look, I’m just saying, that bitch was a bitch.
Hick girl #2: She is such a bitch.
Hick girl #1: I know. And her costume wasn’t even funny.
Hick girl #2: I don’t think they’re supposed to be funny. I think they’re supposed to be scary.
Hick girl #1: Her tits are scary.
Hick girl #2: She’s always showin’ her tits. I don’t wanna see them scary-ass tits.
Bitch: My tits are expensive, you stupid hick bitches.
Hick girl #1: Why didn’t you say you were in there, bitch? God, you’re a bitch.
Hick girl #2: Bitch.

Nashville, Tennessee

Crazy dog lady: Ajax was running around in the shower this morning and chasing the water. It was so cute!
Coworker: He was in the shower with you?
Crazy dog lady: Yes. He needs to get clean. He has a white coat and he gets so dirty.
Coworker: You took a shower with your dog? Were you naked? Ewww…
Crazy dog lady: What? He was dirty!

Fort Worth, Texas

Engineer: I have a college degree in engineering. I know about these things.
Line lead: Well, I’ve got a big dick… That doesn’t make me a porn star! [Engineer leaves.]

Boat factory
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: i dont want to see that movie