Associate: Dude, I just saw my first hot Wal-Mart employee!
RadioShack
California
Overheard by: DRM
Associate: Dude, I just saw my first hot Wal-Mart employee!
RadioShack
California
Overheard by: DRM
Tech: When you open a Ziploc to find a severed hand…
Owings Mills, Maryland
Woman: Watch out for him — he eats women’s shoes.
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Glad I’m wearing men’s shoes
Student aide #1: So, what happened next?
Student aide #2: Well, I had my eyes closed, and the next thing I know my fat-ass brother is on top of me, sucking my ear.
1121 Duvall Highway
Pasadena, Maryland
Overheard by: Disturbed English Teacher
Soccer mom #1: The other night I saw a homeless man on the ground. It looked like he had fallen out of his wheelchair.
Soccer mom #2: Oh, no! Did you help him get back in it?
Soccer mom #3: No, you really shouldn’t, because he could hurt you.
Soccer mom #2: … Or bite you.
Scranton, Pennsylvania
Cube dweller: I still don’t know if that was a man in a costume or a real nun that was grocery shopping!
Buffalo, New York
Chick: So, what are you doing tonight?
Dude: Going out.
Chick: Where are you going?
Dude: Somewhere.
Chick: Oh. With who?
Dude: People.
Chick: You’re staying home tonight, huh?
Dude: Yeah…
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: cupcakee
Coworker: I used to have a bunch of little beanbag Kermit dolls that got progressively blinder because I used to rub them against my chin and wear down the marble eyes.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Annabelle Nightingale
Peon: Wow! I wouldn’t sit on that even if its mouth was taped shut.
9070 Junction Drive
Annapolis Junction, Maryland
Cube dweller #1: So she was talking dirty to me last night and I was all asking her what she was thinking about.
Cube dweller #2: Yeah? What was it, dude?
Cube dweller #1: She was thinking about some role playing shit, so I told her to tell me details, you know? I wanted to know exactly what it was!
Cube dweller #2: Yeah…
Cube dweller #1: So she starts laughing and says, ‘I was actually trying to decide what boots I wanted to wear.’ I’m like, ‘You’re talking about boots when I have a fucking hard-on? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!’
Cube dweller #2: Did you do it anyway?
Cube dweller #1: Naturally…
Scituate, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Glad my wife doesn’t wear boots….
