And I’m All Paid Up

Coworker on phone: Well, this dinosaur works better than your new Mercedes!

Owings Mills, Maryland

Overheard by: widget

Posted on April 28, 2015
Coworkers, Gossip, Maryland

Who Says “an FYI”?

Office peon on phone: Just an FYI — Sarge plays with the vibrating Hello Kitty all the time.

Newark, Delaware

Posted on April 27, 2015
Coworkers, Delaware, Gossip

No, Sir — Just Invite the Media to Join Us

Executive: I once had to tell a supreme court judge to remove his martini from the canoe. The judge was attending an opening reception of a museum exhibition. He said to me, ‘What are you going to do, sue me?’

San Francisco, California

Posted on April 27, 2015
California, Executives, Gossip

I Love Denny’s

Developer to business analyst: Well, if I get herpes, it tasted really good.

3600 American Boulevard
Bloomington, Minnesota

Posted on April 26, 2015
Consultants, Gossip, Minnesota

Luckily It Was Faulkner, So Neither of Us Understood It Anyway

Lady peon: So, I was going home on the train the other night, and this drunk guy sat next to me, and I was just sitting reading my book, and I could tell that he was looking at me, so I wasn’t looking at him. And then he starts talking, and I realize he’s been reading over my shoulder the entire time and now he’s reading out loud, and I was like, ‘Hey! I haven’t even gotten to that part yet!’

745 Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on April 25, 2015
Coworkers, Gossip, Gripes, Massachusetts

Surgeon General: We’re Mandating Filtered Conversations from Now On

Cube rat: So, does he know that you gave him herpes? You know, it’s one thing to give him herpes, but his daughters, too?!

Chestnut Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on April 23, 2015
Coworkers, Gossip, Pennsylvania

It’s the Next Class after Walking and Chewing Gum

Telephone grunt #1: There was someone pooping in the hallway?
Telephone grunt #2: That’s what she said! Hold on, I’m going to call her. [Calls non-telephone-based grunt] She was pooping and walking? In the garage? Okay. I guess I just had to hear it again to believe it.

175 South 3rd Street
Columbus, Ohio