Gossip

Female coworker: So, how was it?
Male coworker: Oh my god. We put the phone on mute and talked amongst ourselves. The other two people left the room, I don't know where they are.
Female coworker: Painful, right?
Male coworker: St. Patrick used that presentation to drive the snakes out of Ireland. He played it and after an hour the snakes had enough.
Female coworker: He's the worst. I have no idea how someone allows him to put his pistol in their holster.
Male coworker: I like that one. I would rather beat off with a cheese grater than listen to that again.

Manhattan, New York

Coworker #1: It’s too hot for this time of year. It should not be 80 in November.
Coworker #2: Yeah, I know. It’s almost enough to make you believe in that global warning myth.

Downtown Fort Worth, Texas

Female coworker: I don’t think being gay is a choice. When a baby is in the womb, it makes that decision.

200 Corporate Drive
Lebanon, New Jersey

Office peon: I was dating this girl for a while, and then she found Jesus and we stopped doing things, and that was that.

California

Cube dweller #1: Oh, and I love it when my husband takes his shirt off at night, because then I can pop his back pimples. He hates it when I do that, but I just love it!
Cube dweller #2 and recent hire: [Horrified silence.]Cube dweller #1: Yeah, and last night I was real disappointed, because I was working on a blackhead and it turned out to be a mole.
Cube dweller #3: [Flees cube.]

Medical center
Pittsburg, Kansas

Jock #1: Need me some Steinbeck. You read Grapes of Wrath yet?
Jock #2: No.
Jock #1: Makes East of Eden look like trash! It’s hardcore.
Jock #3: Whoa! Cannery Row!
All three: Awesome.

Barnes & Noble
Southlake, Texas

Overheard by: They can read?

Drone #1: What do you think of your new team leader?
Drone #2: She’s like an ice cream bar.

112 Worcester Street
Wellesley Hills, Massachusetts

Poli-Sci professor: How was I supposed to remember her name? I had only lost my virginity to her five years earlier!

College
Wooster, Ohio

Boss: It’s been a great week, except for the rash.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Girl #1: So, they really didn’t have sex on Valentine’s Day?
Girl #2: Yep.
Girl #1: Here’s the thing — he cooks her dinner, asks advice on wine… The least she can do is lay there for nine minutes.

St. Paul, Minnesota

Overheard by: steff