Receptionist: That goes on my to-do list right below having sex with a midget.
Madison, South Dakota
Receptionist: That goes on my to-do list right below having sex with a midget.
Madison, South Dakota
Guy in crowded elevator that smells like disinfectant: Have you ever been to jail? It smells like jail in here.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: No, I never have
Employee #1: Did you go out this weekend?
Employee #2: Not really.
Employee #1: I tried this new drink. The bartender said it was a ‘cum shot.’
Employee #2: How many drinks did it take before you did that?
Monroe Avenue
Rochester, New York
Overheard by: did you brush your teeth?
Coworker #1: Dammit! I hate being poisoned!
Coworker #2: You know, something tells me that you aren’t doing paperwork.
460 Canning Highway
Perth, Australia
Assistant on phone: Hey [Lindsay], my little dancing queen, I had a great time last night…Hope you did, too…
Co-worker: He’s always so vocal the day after he’s gotten laid.
640 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Elderly secretary: His friend looked like…you know…one of those people who blow up planes.
3 Five Point Road
Freehold, New Jersey
Overheard by: Robert Freeman
Office girl #1: Last night, when I went up on my roof to smoke, I saw the masturbator again.
Office girl #2: I’m coming over!
Eutaw Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Art teacher: So, we’ll just add some black to this painting…
Girl: Hunter, isn’t black your favorite color?
Boy: It’s the color of my soul.
High school, 700 Broadway
Nashville, Tennessee
Guy #1: I was talking to Megan the other day. She is pretty cool.
Guy #2: Yeah, she is, but man, she is really bulimic.
Guy #3: Bulimic? What does that mean? Does that mean she’s deaf?
YMCA
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: T
Worker bee #1: Five second rule!
Worker bee #2: I’m from India. I can digest toxic waste!
D’Onofrio Drive
Madison, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Minx
