General Idiocy

Magazine Editor: Can you help me? I think the stapler’s broken…See it’s broken because it doesn’t have any staples.

350 5th Avenue
New York, NY

Office hoochie on cell: You need to call him and find out who is the source of all the knuckleheadedness.

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Manager on phone: She’ll only be filing and sorting so as long as she doesn’t come in drunk and screw up the files, I don’t really care about the DUI.

2250 Alcazar Street
Los Angeles, California

New girl, during one of her constant personal calls: Don't you find it insulting to be a Democrat?

Charlotte, North Carolina

Overheard by: Karen

Delegating My Memory May Have Been a Mistake

Managing director: Don't you think Frank should get a haircut?
Past retirement age CEO: What did Frank say about my hair?
Managing director: Nothing, I said “Don't you think Frank should get a haircut?”
Past retirement age CEO: What did he say about my hair?
Entire office: Frank hasn't said anything about your hair!
(phone rings)
Past retirement age CEO, answering phone: Hello, Frank speaking–I mean, Graham speaking.

London
England

Overheard by: Who's Frank?

Office drone #1: Hey, did you know the new guy was a mix? Yeah, he's half Haitian and half Mexican.
Office drone #2: Really, no way!
Office drone #1: Yeah, really!
Office drone #2: Hmmm, shows what I know about people, I thought he was white.

Madison Ave
New York City, New York

Employee: Hey! Doesn’t your ma get you anything from the Easter bunny?
Supervisor: It’s been years since I’ve gotten anything.
Employee’s boy: You live with your mom?
Supervisor: So what? So do you!
Employee’s boy: No, I don’t.
Supervisor: Huh?…Oh…Ah, shit.

6101 Wetzel Avenue
Fort Carson, Colorado

Woman describing new car: It's like the Cadillac of cars!

Providence, Rhode Island

Coworker entering another’s cube with hole-puncher, stack of paper, and beginning to punch holes: If I do this in my office, then there will be little paper circles all over my floor, and that’s really annoying.

1632 Da Vinci Court
Davis, California

Tech: Okay, now right-click there.
Admin: Here?
Tech: No, right-click. Right there.
Admin: Okay…
Tech: No, get rid of that. Right-click. Right there. Right-click. Right-click…Which button are you clicking?
Admin: The left one.

Texas A&M University
College Station, Texas