Co-worker #1: I don’t understand why she had to take her birthday off. I mean, if it’s just your birthday and you’re not doing anything special, what’s the point?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, I’d only take the day off if it was my birthday and I had cancer.
147 Columbus Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Eve S. Dropper
Peon #1: Those Jordanians are really teed off.
Peon #2: Is that even a word?
9115 Harris Corners Parkway
Charlotte, North Carolina
Boss: Did you hear about the terrorist attacks in Jordan?
Secretary: Um, yes; a suicide bomber killed hundreds of people at a wedding.
Boss: You see, you shouldn’t attend so many weddings. The odds are against you.
10550 North Torrey Pines Road
La Jolla, California
Boss: Those cupcakes are delicious. What a sugar rush!
Intern: I broke out in hives.
Boss: In hives?
Intern: A rash. My skin is very sensitive.
Boss: To sugar?
Intern: Yup.
Boss: That’s amazing.
Intern: When I was a kid I got sick and I had to have, like, ten X-rays a day. Literally, five X-rays a day. And I think that messed up my photons.
Boss: Your photons?
Intern: Yeah, that’s how X-rays work, you know? They reverse your photons. That’s how they get the image.
Boss: Oh.
Intern: That’s why my skin is so sensitive, because they messed up the photons. They won’t admit it, because they don’t want me to sue them. But I know what’s up.
10 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, NY
Overheard by: pixelvisions
Co-worker #1: I’ve heard about some diets that help regulate the acid-base balance in the blood. Is there any validity in those diets?”
Co-worker #2: I think that your kidneys help do that.
[Janet]: My equilibrium does that.
Instructor: Emphysema patients have chronic weight loss.
[Janet]: Is that why you gain weight when you quit cigarettes?
2070 North Rivers Business Center
Charleston, South Carolina
Boss: We will be taken off the internet. It is slowing down productivity.
5 minutes pass.
Worker #1: …What will I do all day?
Worker #2: Work.
Worker #1: Ha, ha! Whatever.
3275 Steinway Street
Astoria, New York
Co-worker #1: My diet is going really well. I have hardly eaten
anything today.
Co-Worker #2: Oh really?
Co-Worker #1: Yeah, I have had only three hot dogs and two hamburgers.
860 Levoy Drive
Salt Lake City, Utah
Co-worker #1: I just got tricked into using a pen that shocked me!
Co-worker #2: Oh, no. You okay?
Co-worker #1: Well, shocking throws off your electroids…
Co-worker #2: Electroids? What are those?
Co-worker #1: …Well, electroid is not in here, but this is an old dictionary.
600 Willowbrook Office Park
Fairport, New York
IT: Okay, try it now.
The problem solved, it works.
Call Center: Wait, wait, wait. Don’t start jerking each other off just yet…We still have to test one other thing.
101 Empty Saddle Trail
Hailey, Idaho
IT person: “New Jersey”? New Jersey is a state? I thought it was part of New York.
Grand Pavilion
Cayman Islands
Vice Principal: Hey there, did you get my email?
Teacher: No, I didn’t…
Vice Principal: Wow, and I sent it to both [Ed Hildick]s so you’d be sure to get it.
Teacher: Yeah…but my name is [Jeff].
901 Locust Street
Herndon, Virginia
