General Idiocy

10AM Monitor Calls

Accountant on speaker: Okay, I tried entering my password and it didn’t work.
Tech: I reset it to “password.”
Accountant on speaker: Okay, let me try my password again.
Tech: Make sure you type “password.”
Accountant on speaker: It didn’t work again.
Tech: Iou typed far too many letters for the word “password.” Did you type in “password” as your password?
Accountant on speaker: Yu never told me to do that.
Tech: So what part of my sentance confused you: “Type in the word
‘password’ when it asks you for your password”, or “I reset it for you, your password is now ‘password.'”
Accountant on speaker: I have a CPA, don’t talk to me like that.
Tech: I can make up acronyms too. I’ll be in your office in five
minutes. In the meantime, ponder this one: I’m OMGWTF certified.

220 Woodbine Road
Downingtown, Pennsylvania

4PM Review Tentative New Hires

Boss: So with his experience, he will help us ferret those waters.

930 South Calhoun Street
Fort Wayne, Indiana

3PM Water Cooler

Co-worker #1: I don’t like space, or astronauts.
Co-worker #2: Why?
Co-worker #1: Well, this one time I was at the Kennedy Space Center when I was a little kid and there was a statue of an astronaut at the end of the museum and when I got close to it, it moved and it really scared me.
Co-worker #2: Ooh, that’s freaky!
Co-worker #1: Yeah. That’s why I don’t like space.

250 Harbor Drive
Stamford, Connecticut

5PM That’s a Wrap

Co-worker #1: [Steph], I never believed the stereotype about blonde women until I met you.
[Steph]: Thanks!

1000 Jerry St. Pe’ Highway
Pascagoula, Mississippi

2PM IT Conference Call

Tech Support: Okay, I need you to go to a command prompt and type
“‘mail from:’ your email address” and this should get you a connection.
User: It didn’t work.
Tech Support: Okay, so you typed “‘mail from:’ your email address” and it didn’t work for you?
User: Wait a minute. Did you say you wanted me to type “nail” or “mail”?

1010 Niagara Street
Buffalo, New York

5PM I’m Rushing Home

Co-worker: Can you help me out here? I’ve got kind of a rush going on.
Underling: Sure, what can I help you with?
Co-Worker: Oh, wait. Hold on. I don’t mean “rush” like I’m doing a line of cocaine. I mean rush like I’m busy.

901 Mission Street
San Francisco, California

10AM Product Meeting

Peon: Well, you know as they say, “Necessity is the mother of all invention.”
Boss: That’s cool, did you just make that up?

800 E. 28th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: jearu

4PM More Party Planning

Manager: We’re totally gonna win! We’re gonna build the holiday tower of pain!

101 Truman Avenue
Yonkers, New York

10AM Call HR

Secretary: I can’t talk to her any longer. She’s so disrespectful.
Boss: …Really.
Secretary: Yes! Can you please talk to her ’cause I’ve had enough.
Boss: Well, since we’ve been acquired by the new company, they’re really big on that.
Secretary: Huh?
Boss: You know. Respect. It used to be a lot easier around here.

1775 Broadway
New York, NY

1PM Run Errands

Receptionist: Argh! My arm is so itchy. I’m, like, allergic to work!
Co-worker: Stop scratching; you are making it worse! At lunch, go
and get an antihistamine to stop the swelling.
Receptionist: Antihistamine or antiinflammatory? I think it’s
inflamed. What’s the difference anyway?
Co-worker: Antihistamine is something that is not histamine, and
antiinflammatory is something that’s not inflammatory.
Receptionist: So I’ll ask the chemist?

25 Parramatta Road
Underwood, Queensland
Australia

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