General Idiocy

Graphic designer: Ah, shut up, midget mother.
Ad sales girl: What? “Midget mother”? What the fuck does that mean?
Graphic designer: Your mother's a midget.

Scranton, Pennsylvania

Intern #1: I heard that when a girl loses her virginity, her face changes.
Intern #2: You mean you can see it on her face?
Intern #1: No. Her face actually gets longer.
Intern #2: That doesn't make sense.
Intern #1: No, it's true. I've noticed it in some of my friends.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Drew Ball

Inside sales rep, after eating piece of fruit from her mixed fruit cup: Um, this tastes kinda funny. Does fruit go bad?

Reading, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: her stupidity is melting my brain

Librarian on phone: I've talked to you when you're high. It's not all that much fun!

Amherst, Massachusetts

Coworker: Your baby is *so* adorable and scrumptious.
New mom: Yeah, Susie said she could eat her with some hot sauce.
Coworker: Wow, I didn't know Susie liked hot sauce.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Office peon on phone: Look, I'm busy right now so I'll have to call you back. What's your phone number?
Stupid office peon: Ummm… I don't know. I never call myself.

Nashville, Tennessee

Loud lady on phone: Hi, are you dead yet?

West Lafayette, Indiana

Overheard by: Rachel S.

Employee on phone with customer: Do we have any books about muffins? You mean how to make muffins? We have cookbooks… (pause) No? (pause) I don't think we have books… Just… About muffins.

Long Island, New York

Receptionist: It was 190 miles off the coast.
Secretary: That's like from here to Montauk.
Receptionist: I don't know. I don't know anything about geometry.

Park Slope
Brooklyn, New York

Taxi dispatcher: Where to, miss?
Girl on cell: What?
Dispatcher: Where do you want to go?
Girl on cell, impatiently: I need to go to Huntington. (goes back to phone conversation)
Dispatcher: Excuse me miss, but whereabouts in Huntington?
Girl on cell, annoyed: What do you mean, whereabouts?

Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Morning Glory