IT guy: Do you have a license to install Photoshop?
Employee: You need a license?
IT guy: Yeah.
Employee: It’s not that hard to install, you just double click on the icon.
IT guy: You don’t understand.
Employee: Yeah I do, I’m just fucking with you. Jokes are funny.
2 W. 2nd Street
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Secretary #1: What’s the problem?
Secretary #2: Oh…the gathering darkness.
105 Avenue O
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Danielle Balsamo
A handicapped client has had to be restrained for assaulting a staff.
Co-worker #1: Your behaviour was completely out of line. You hit me, tried to bite me and pissed all over my leg. How would you like it if I pissed on you if I was angry at you?
Client: I wouldn’t like it.
Co-worker #1: Hey [Jake], when you are angry at your girlfriend, do you piss all over her and try to bite her?
Co-worker #2: No, I don’t. We talk things out and listen to each other. Why did you piss on us during the restraint?
Client: You guys were not listening to me.
2a Ormonde Avenue
St. Catharines, Ontario
Canadia
West Virginia guy: Those Southwest email specials never give any deals on places people really want to go. Like I was looking for a flight to Indiana, they didn’t have anything.
9211 Appleford Circle
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Doug Wilson
Mother: Why did you check “female” on that?
Son: Aw, shit!
Department of Health and Mental Hygiene
125 Worth Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Jean-Luc Picard
CSR: They’re sending out an engineer to ascertain whether the unit is actually on fire.
730 Paseo Camarillo
Camarillo, California
Overheard by: Dave Brown
IT Consultant: It’s kinda like grain is to bread as meat is to wurst.
Highway 280
East Birmingham, Alabama
Marketing exec: If we didn’t have to spend so much time telling you our requirements, you could be done with the code already!
228 East 86th Street
New York, NY
Consultant: I know the solution to this problem…only it won’t work.
IBM Golden Towers
Bangalore, India
Project Manager: He said this, and we thought he meant that, and he thought we were doing this, and they thought we were doing that, and they didn’t tell us they wanted that so we did this…and it all got lost in the…in the…in the big washing machine of communication.
Developer: Or possibly the tumble drier of tautology.
1-4 Warple Way
Acton, London
