Marketing exec: If we didn’t have to spend so much time telling you our requirements, you could be done with the code already!
228 East 86th Street
New York, NY
Marketing exec: If we didn’t have to spend so much time telling you our requirements, you could be done with the code already!
228 East 86th Street
New York, NY
Consultant: I know the solution to this problem…only it won’t work.
IBM Golden Towers
Bangalore, India
Project Manager: He said this, and we thought he meant that, and he thought we were doing this, and they thought we were doing that, and they didn’t tell us they wanted that so we did this…and it all got lost in the…in the…in the big washing machine of communication.
Developer: Or possibly the tumble drier of tautology.
1-4 Warple Way
Acton, London
Jewish Co-worker: Yeah, my Grandpa owns a jewelry store,
Boss: Do you think there’s any connection to the fact that a lot of Jews are Jew-elers?
Jewish Co-worker: Uh, no…
Boss: Because if that was the case, they should start calling landscapers…ital-scapers.
Jewish Co-worker: Wow.
32100 Solon Road
Cleveland, Ohio
Woman #1: It has been freezing in here today!
Woman #2: You know why they keep the AC turned up so high, don’t you?
Woman #1: To keep us alert?
Woman #2: No…for the headlights.
Woman #1: Headlights?
1 World Financial Center
New York, NY
Tester: Maybe LA can also help test sound for me.
Co-worker: …and update my test suites…and knit me sweaters.
Tester: Now that’s not exactly company related.
Co-worker: Sweaters are great company.
209 Redwood Shores Parkway
Redwood City, California
Boss: Well, apparently he has a girlfriend who may be going through cancer treatments. But you can still be friends with him, it’s good to have connections.
Secretary: What? No! I don’t need any more friends. She has cancer? God, I can’t compete with that, forget it.
321 Walnut Street
Green Cove Springs, Florida
Mail guy #1: He said he smoked crack at work?
Mail guy #2: Yeah.
Mail guy #1: How did he do that?
Mail guy #2: He said he did it in the bathroom.
Mail guy #1: But how?
Mail guy #2: How?
Mail guy #1: Yeah. He has to walk past about 2 guards to get in the building. Those people are trained to smell shit and they know if you’re coming in here dirty.
281 Tresser Boulevard
Stamford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Brenda Fate
Manager: How’re you doing? You’re not overworked, are you? I’m not giving you too much to do, am I?
Worker-bee: No, I’m okay…
Manager: Good, because I’m just going to keep giving you stuff to do until you tell me to fuck off.
557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Agent: [Kevin], there’s a call for you.
[Kevin]: Who would it be?
Agent: Duh, it’d be the person on the other end of the phone!
15-17 St Johns
Worcester, Worcestershire
UK
Overheard by: mark nice
