Co-worker: For a long time I thought [Eric] was a slacker, but now that he’s been sick for three days and my workload is unaffected, I’ve become totally convinced that he does nothing here.
101 Auto Park Circle
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Co-worker: For a long time I thought [Eric] was a slacker, but now that he’s been sick for three days and my workload is unaffected, I’ve become totally convinced that he does nothing here.
101 Auto Park Circle
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
New guy #1: Exotic kay? I’m keeping away from that!
New guy #2: What?
New guy #1: Exotic…kay?
New guy #2: Key?
New guy #1: Khi?
New guy #2: Chee?
401 Merritt 7
Norwalk, Connecticut
Guy #1: After I’m through with her, she’ll be walking bowlegged for a week!
Guy #2: Is she going to be helping you with the construction job?
Guy #1: Do you even know what I’m talking about? Jeez, you gotta grow up!
2121 Ala Wai Boulevard
Honolulu, Hawaii
IT guy: Do you have a license to install Photoshop?
Employee: You need a license?
IT guy: Yeah.
Employee: It’s not that hard to install, you just double click on the icon.
IT guy: You don’t understand.
Employee: Yeah I do, I’m just fucking with you. Jokes are funny.
2 W. 2nd Street
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Secretary #1: What’s the problem?
Secretary #2: Oh…the gathering darkness.
105 Avenue O
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: Danielle Balsamo
A handicapped client has had to be restrained for assaulting a staff.
Co-worker #1: Your behaviour was completely out of line. You hit me, tried to bite me and pissed all over my leg. How would you like it if I pissed on you if I was angry at you?
Client: I wouldn’t like it.
Co-worker #1: Hey [Jake], when you are angry at your girlfriend, do you piss all over her and try to bite her?
Co-worker #2: No, I don’t. We talk things out and listen to each other. Why did you piss on us during the restraint?
Client: You guys were not listening to me.
2a Ormonde Avenue
St. Catharines, Ontario
Canadia
West Virginia guy: Those Southwest email specials never give any deals on places people really want to go. Like I was looking for a flight to Indiana, they didn’t have anything.
9211 Appleford Circle
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Doug Wilson
Mother: Why did you check “female” on that?
Son: Aw, shit!
Department of Health and Mental Hygiene
125 Worth Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Jean-Luc Picard
CSR: They’re sending out an engineer to ascertain whether the unit is actually on fire.
730 Paseo Camarillo
Camarillo, California
Overheard by: Dave Brown
IT Consultant: It’s kinda like grain is to bread as meat is to wurst.
Highway 280
East Birmingham, Alabama
