Woman on cell: Well, when I get to my office, I’ll turn on my computer and run through what you did, to see what may be wrong with your computer. [pause] No, Mom, I can’t get onto your computer from my computer.
3301 Fairfax Drive
Arlington, Virginia
Secretary: This photocopier is broken.
Office service staff: Why, what's it doing?
Secretary: Well, I tried to make a color copy, but it came out black and white.
Office service staff, looking at original: Um, your original is black and white.
Secretary: Yes, I know, I thought it would insert color onto it.
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Legally Retarded
Office girl on phone: I’m sorry, he’s not in right now. Is there something I can do to you? Shit. I mean for you?
Cornwall
United Kingdom
Overheard by: Christina
Boss: Do we have Google installed on our internet?
IT guy: We put it on your machine yesterday.
700 W. Van Buren Street
Chicago, Illinois
Co-Worker #1: He was born in Spain, but his parents were born in Haitia, right?
Co-Worker #2: You mean Haiti?
25 East Washington Street
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Lesley
New guy to female coworker, handing her lunch menu: You look like someone who would be interested in this.
Female coworker: What is that supposed to mean?
New guy: Oh.
Main Street
Watertown, Massachusetts
Overheard by: so glad i'm not male
Customer: I left something in a cab and I would pay very well to get it back.
Dispatcher: Sure, I just need to know the description of the item to see if it's been returned.
Customer: Umm, I'd rather not explain.
Dispatcher: Well, how do I find it? It can't be that bad.
Customer: Well, it's a brown bag. Has anyone turned in a brown bag?
Dispatcher: Not that I'm aware of. Look, do you know the cab number?
Customer: No, but I think it was one of your cabs.
Dispatcher: You think? Did you catch a name? Know anything about the driver?
Customer: He was foreign, like, Middle Eastern. I think his name was Ali.
Dispatcher: Seriously?
Burnside Street
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Harassed Dispatcher
Coworker #1: Man, if I found out my kid was retarded before it was born, I’d get it aborted. It’s not like it’s going to contribute to society.
Coworker #2: Except to give jobs to teachers who want to teach retarded kids.
Coworker #1: Yeah, and if my kid was going to be physically retarded but his brain was going to be fine, I’d give him up for adoption. That way I can have a normal one — but I didn’t kill him in case he’s like Stephen Hawking.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Prochoice to a new level
Person #1: I just read that there has been a 104% increase in the numbers of lost or stolen cows recovered in Texas and Oklahoma.
Person #2: So they found 4 more cows than were actually lost?
650 California Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Gilligan
Woman to man remaining on elevator: Not getting off?
Man: Yeah, I thought it was going up. It was going down.
Woman: Ah, well, a little detour’s okay.
Man: Yeah… I have a lot of work to do, though.
Woman: Well, but you know, sometimes it’s important to stop and smell… the lobby.
60 State Street
Boston, Massachusetts
