Agent #1: Why is that dog wearing a “W” on its head?
Agent #2: That’s not a “W”; it’s obviously an “M.” It’s just upside down.
Bystander: Um…those are reindeer antlers.
7145 SE 21st Avenue
Portland, Oregon
Agent #1: Why is that dog wearing a “W” on its head?
Agent #2: That’s not a “W”; it’s obviously an “M.” It’s just upside down.
Bystander: Um…those are reindeer antlers.
7145 SE 21st Avenue
Portland, Oregon
Coworker #1: St. Patrick's Day is my favorite holiday. I'm 100% Irish!
Coworker #2: Oh yeah?
Coworker #1: Yeah, especially on my dad's side. He's Irish, Scottish, and Welsh.
Coworker #2: Well, then you're not 100% Irish.
Coworker #1: Yes, I am.
Coworker #2: No, you're not. You're…
Coworker #1: Yes I am. I am 100% Irish.
Coworker #2: Whatever, man.
Coworker #1: The Irish are stubborn, you know.
Phoenix, Arizona
Employee emerging from stockroom, singing: Tookie’s in the house! Y’all already know what he’s about!
Office supply store
New York, New York
Overheard by: NCS
Manager: We don’t have a single product with an orifice
2299 Ridge Road
Greenville, South Carolina
Co-worker: If saliva was poison, she’d be a snake, right?
Man: Is that really your inbox, or is it some kind of joke?
Man: I’ll go punch a bunch of buttons. If that doesn’t work, I’ll unplug it.
10877 Watson Road
St. Louis, Missouri
Boss: Sorry, I didn't recognize you.
Potential client: It's okay, my girlfriend is blind.
Boss: Your girlfriend is blind? Like Stevie Wonder blind?
Potential client: Yes, like Stevie Wonder blind.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Aimee
Good listener #1: Have you tried mango Propel?
Good listener #2: Nope.
Good listener #1: Is it any good?
Human Services, Frances Avenue
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: uberkt
Boss on phone: That is not clinical! Being an asshole is not a clinical condition.
Ginko Industrial Park
Warminster, Pennsylvania
Patient: I’m going to see The Lion King tonight.
Nurse #1: Can you imagine doing shows like that every night, traveling all the time?
Nurse #2: Most of them are gay anyhow, so it’s no big deal.
Red Cross van
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Taxman
Assistant: I'm going to Starbucks; can I get you anything?
IT tech: What's Starbucks?
Lawrence, Kansas
Overheard by: a girl who HASN'T been living under a rock
