IT tech #1: What day is father's day?
IT tech #2: Sunday.
IT tech #1: This Sunday? Shit!
IT tech #2: Yes, this Sunday.
IT tech #1: Wait a minute! Today is Thursday?!
IT tech #2: Yep, today is Thursday.
IT tech #1: Fuck!
IT tech #2: You totally forgot, didn't you?
IT tech #1: No, I have it completely covered, man. Completely. (hangs up, dials again) Honey, what would you like to do for father's day?
Santa Clara, California
Ad rep #1: The best movie is on TV tonight.
Ad rep #2: What movie is that?
Ad rep #1: Gone with the Wind.
Ad rep #2: Is that the same as…? No, that’s A Walk in the Clouds.
Programmers: What?!
Ad rep #2: I got confused — they’re similar. Well, which one is Gone with the Wind?
Ad rep #1: It has Clark Gable.
Ad rep #2: Is that the guy that played Superman?
120 West 1st Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
In a meeting: Providers only terminate their contracts for one of two reasons: Pay or Other.
At a bar with a friend: You know, I was diagnosed as a genius as a child and I think that is why I don’t get along with her; I don’t get along with other geniuses. That is why I think you and I are such good friends.
In response to an email: Ya know, I have tracking on this, and as usual, I am completely embarrassed.
[Bonus: found in coworker’s personal ad: Things that turn me on: Thunderstorms]522 SW 5th
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Breanna Freeman
Professor: You will have those students that don’t show up to class or office hours, or that don’t care about their grades. What causes this?
TA: Global warming?
University of Texas
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: underpaid TA
Receptionist: Some people have no arms because their mothers were booze hounds.
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Proud of my mom for giving me all of my limbs
HR manager: God, I hate it when you bring me that junk!
Admin: These are people’s resumes.
HR manager: Fine, shove your junk in my box.
Admin: Excuse me?
HR manager: Just leave it in my box. I’ll throw it away in the morning.
80 Grasslands Road
Elmsford, New York
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
Coworker #1: Can you believe the whole company needs to take an ethics exam? It’s online, but still…
Coworker #2: Yeah, it sucks. I heard that one department’s doing the whole thing on a conference call together.
Coworker #1: But there’s a test…
Coworker #2: Yeah, they’re all taking the test together. One person says the answer and everybody enters it on their screen after the first person confirms it’s right.
Midtown
New York, New York
Co-worker 1: …they’re always very nice people, though.
Co-worker 2: Who are?
Co-worker 1: Gay people. Very good linedancers.
Civic Drive
Greensborough, Melbourne
Australia
CSR: Okay sir, that’s one, six, A as in apple, T as in ticket, nine, four, S as in snow, zero as in orange, thirteen.
1277 Deming Way
Madison, Wisconsin
Cube dweller on phone: Hi, boss, we just got robbed!
Manager: Oh my god! Where?
Parade
Suva
Fiji
Overheard by: Siti
