Designer: If you want to save money on groceries, go to the ghetto and go to their Safeway. Their prices are cheaper. Or go to their discount grocery store. It’s even cheaper, but most of the signs are in Spanish or some other language I don’t speak. And you can find some of the weirdest food!
2001 Lind Avenue SW
Renton, Washington
Woman #1: What day is Thanksgiving on this year?
Woman #2: I don’t know – Thursday or Friday?
Wal-mart
Springfield, Missouri
Overheard by: Jennifer Gerboth
Blonde cashier: Wow! Thanksgiving is on a Thursday this year!
Lake Travis, Texas
Overheard by: Frostwalrus
Blonde: What’s your last name?
Brunette: Monroe.
Blonde: Oh! Are you related to Marilyn Monroe?
Brunette: No, but I am related to the president.
Blonde: George Bush?? No way!
60 Wall Street
New York, New York
Coworker #1, carrying on secret relationship with #2: What are you trying to say?
Coworker #2: I’m not saying anything. You know what I’m saying.
Coworker #1: What are you trying to say?
Coworker #2: I’m not saying anything. You know what I’m saying.
Hospital
New York
Office peon: Not that I believe Jesus was Jewish or anything.
Silver Spring, Maryland
Social worker: Crap! I spelled “I am” wrong!
Chicago, Illinois
Scientist: What are the goals of this management plan?
Project manager: The goal is to come up with a plan to manage the system, but we are not authorized to actually manage anything.
Scientist: So the goal of this meeting is really an excuse for you to draw on the white board and act important?
3301 Gun Club Road
West Palm Beach, Florida
Coworker #1: My son is hanging out with the stupidest kid…
Coworker #2: What do you mean?
Coworker #1: He’s not exactly the brightest knife in the drawer.
Airport Drive
Green Bay, Wisconsin
Co-worker, on phone with 9-year-old son: I’m not happy with you. I heard you were a bad boy at camp. They told me you hit one of the other kids with a golf club. You shouldn’t do that. You could hurt someone.
371 Hoes Lane
Piscataway, New Jersey
Paralegal: Good afternoon, [Law Firm name]. How may I help you?
Partner: Wow…Wow. You’ve got, like, a 1-900 phone voice. We’re gonna have to take you off the receptionist rotation. Don’t want to give our criminal clients the wrong impression.
600 East Broad Street
Richmond, Virginia
