Boss: Why didn’t you have a cover letter on the copy to the client?
New employee: I didn’t know I was supposed to have one. I didn’t think to ask if I needed it.
Boss: From now on, if you don’t know the question, you should ask it.
1700 66th Street
St. Petersburg, Florida
Queer peon: You need to shave.
Scruffy suit: Shaving's for homos!
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Not Homo
Supervisor: Did you answer my phone while I was gone?
Worker bee: It didn’t ring.
Supervisor: Well, did John call for me?
Worker bee: He didn’t call. Your phone didn’t ring.
Supervisor: But did you answer a call from John?
Worker bee: No, when your phone didn’t ring, I didn’t answer it, and when I didn’t answer it, John wasn’t the one that didn’t call.
75 Washington Avenue
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: brian brinegar
Customer service associate to graphic artist: Yeah, I just wanted to get your uninformed opinion on that file.
Nashville, Tennessee
Boyfriend to girlfriend: I can't get an elephant tattooed on my ass, elephants are really big.
Girlfriend: People have solar systems tattooed on them, and those things are fucking huge.
Mahwah, New Jersey
Co-worker #1: Is that a boob?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, I think it is.
Co-worker #1: There aren’t any appropriate pictures of Native Americans!
625 Mount Auburn Street
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Girl #1: Did you finish with the Christmas card?
Girl #2: We call it holiday card now. Because everyone is not Catholic.
Girl #1: You know it’s not just Catholics that celebrate Christmas; Christians celebrate it too.
Girl #2: Oh they do? I didn’t know because I’m Catholic.
Fifth Avenue
New York City, New York
Overheard by: But Catholics ARE Christians
Shipping customer: When does UPS come to pick up?
Owner: He's due around five, and he has not been here yet. Your package will go out today.
Shipping customer: He's due at five? Will it go out today? Did he come yet?
Riverside Parkway
Lawrenceville, Georgia
Overheard by: Jami
Woman: My daughter is 16.
Guy: Wow, she’s almost grown.
Woman: I know — in two years she’ll be out of the house. I almost wish she had Down Syndrome so she would have to live with me forever.
Davenport, Iowa
Newly hired girl, learning computer system: *gasp* Oh my god, I just figured out why Chevron gas stations are called Chevron!
(senior girl rolls eyes)
Newly hired girl, a minute later: *gasp!*
Senior girl: What? Did you just figure out what Shell gas stations are named after?
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: why did we hire her again?
