Cashier: There'll be somebody out there to help you, but there probably won't be.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Capt Grayson
Cashier: There'll be somebody out there to help you, but there probably won't be.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Capt Grayson
Boss to intern: You know that manatees are really just fish, right?
Jacksonville, Florida
Cute office peon: What’s wrong, Tom*?
Tom: I’m just feeling a little depressed today.
Cute office peon: Why?
Tom: I had planned this party over the weekend, and no one showed up.
Cute office peon: Don’t feel bad about that, Tom. It’s not your fault that your friends can’t come!
5500 University Parkway
San Bernardino, California
Overheard by: And she knows this how?
Manager: I need that paper back.
New girl: But I already faxed it.
Manager: Yeah, okay, but I need it back.
New girl: But you don't understand, I faxed it already. It's gone. I can probably go get it on my way home after work?
Harahan, Louisiana
Genius: Sometimes the staples are just hanging there, and someone could get hurt.
68 Marginal Way
Portland, Maine
Sales guy on phone: Yeah, we need to quantitate that. Mmm-hmmm. Well, I can’t make ends meet of this spreadsheet.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Customer: We’d like to get a gallon of paint.
Employee: Ok, what sheen would you like?
Customer: What’s “sheen”?
Employee: The sheen is how shiny the paint is. There are different sheens for different rooms.
Customer: What would you recommend?
Employee: Where is it going?
Customer: On the wall.
45075 Worth Avenue
California, Maryland
Overheard by: Paint Chick
Co-worker #1: I just got this great book you should read. It’s got
everything you always wanted to know about sex. It’s got pictures and
positions and everything.
Co-worker #2: Books are for amateurs. When it comes to sex I’m a pro.
1215 2nd Avenue
Nashville, Tennessee
Bank assistant VP #1: It all comes, said Pooh, of not hiring the right people.
Bank assistant VP #2: Exactly… Wait, did you say ‘said Pooh’?
9th Street
Hopkinsville, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
Waitress #1: I hate working here.
Waitress #2: Then why do you?
Waitress #1: Because, I bought a condo in San Diego, and now I have to work here on the weekends to make sure my mortgage is paid.
Waitress #2: Can’t you just return it? Or sell it back?
Waitress #1: I don’t have the receipt.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Stephanie Burns
