Customer: Hi, I’d like to make a return.
Cashier: Ok, do you have your receipt?
Customer: Yeah, here it is.
Cashier, after looking at receipt for a few seconds: Ma’am, this is from Walgreens.
Customer: Oh…[looks around the store in bewilderment] Where am I?
Longs Drugs
Livermore, California
Overheard by: Stephen
Co-worker #1: Are they going to do that thing where they make it get darker earlier again this year?
Co-worker #2: You mean Daylight Savings? Yes, I think so. I think it happens pretty much every year.
171 17th Street NW
Atlanta, Georgia
Cube dweller #1: Oooh, Friday is in full swing.
Cube dweller #2: What makes you say that?
Cube dweller #1: You just used the phrase ‘fetus piece.’
35 Thorpe Avenue
Wallingford, Connecticut
Overheard by: jesse
New bride: So now I am changing my last name to Smith.
Negative co-worker: Oh! You will have problems with identity theft with that name… It's so common.
New bride: Oh no, it's okay, I put my old drivers license in the safety deposit box.
Crooks Road
Troy, Michigan
Customer: These ice cream cones and a hundred dollars in lotto tickets.
Store clerk: Okay, $106.39
Customer: What? These ice creams cost six dollars?! What a waste of money! No, I dont want them. What a waste. Seriously! No, no — just the lotto tickets.
Eastlake Mart
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: kallisti
CSR on phone: [Comtech], accounts receiveable, this is [Brett]…Yes, this is [Comtech]…This is the accounts receivable department, yes…My name is [Brett]…[Brett]!
420 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Coworker #1: I’m like a shark. Rawr. Rawr.
Coworker #2: Sharks don’t growl.
15 East 16th Street
New York, New York
Confused coworker: I think I'm intuitively dyslexic.
Burbank, California
Overheard by: urzzz
Teacher: When he came in to register his kids here, he tried to use his arrest report as his proof of address. “Possession with intent to sell,” it said. I told him, “You can’t use that as your proof of address; you need a BGE or a water bill.”
2000 Cecil Avenue
Baltimore, Maryland
Coworker #1, after mayoral election: So, did you vote yesterday?
Coworker #2: For what, American Idol?
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Voter
