General Idiocy

Receptionist, on phone: Ocean View* Escrow
Processor: Darlene* please.
Receptionist: She’s on the other line. Would you like to hold?
Processor: I’d love to.
Receptionist: Really?
Processor: Not big on sarcasm, are you?

1950 Sawtelle Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Matt

Blonde entering elevator: I tell you, people are lazy.
Brunette: Which people?
Blonde, hitting button for second floor: Everybody. Everybody is lazy!

2001 Lind Avenue SW
Renton, Washington

Overheard by: going to 5

Client on phone: When can I schedule an appointment to conjugate a meeting?

315 North Great Neck Road
Virginia Beach, Virginia

Female admin: What were you doing here at 7:40?
Male admin: I was rummaging through your stuff.
Female admin: Find anything of interest? My stuff is pretty boring.
Male admin: Really? I found that riding crop quite interesting.
Female admin: What?! I ride horses!!
Male admin: That would explain the saddle.

80 Grasslands Road
Elmsford, New York

Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief

Conferenceperson: Could you please have a pot of coffee ready for my 2 o’clock meeting?
Secretary: Um, there’s a scheduled 1 hour long power outage at 1:30.
Conferenceperson: That’s okay, we have lights.

Computer Science Building
Stony Brook University
Stony Brook, New York

Accounting: My cat turned off my alarm this morning and made me oversleep.
Receptionist: What?
Accounting: Yeah, normally she sleeps under the covers with me, and I hear her get up and start pacing around to wake me up. But today she must have just gotten up and stepped on my alarm.
Receptionist: Well, she must have known you needed to sleep in.

850 Mount Vernon Highway NE
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Cat

Secretary: What does it do when it archeeves my email?
Boss: Are you serious?
Secretary: I mean, where does it go after it’s done archeeving?
Boss: Oh god.

5353 McCurry Road
Roscoe, Illinois

Boss: So that fax machine is jamming again? I thought the repairman was just in here fixing it? What did he say?
Employee: No, it was that one that he fixed. You switched the faxes, right? So the good one is up here and the bad one is in the back?
Boss: No. I told you this morning that I wasn’t going to do that because your mom was coming in to fax tomorrow so we might as well just get the bad one fixed.
Employee: Who were you talking to? The repair guy? Are you sure you were talking to me?
Boss: No, I was talking to the post.

18 Sycamore Avenue
Ho-Ho-Kus, New Jersey

Overheard by: GrIzZlEbEe!!!

Assistant: I submitted this check request a month ago, can you tell me why it hasn’t been paid yet?
Accountant: Oh, you wanted it paid?

40 W. 20th Street
New York, NY

Overheard by: Faith Black

IT: Yeah, seems like your floor plate is damaged, you’re going to have to clear your books so they can fix it.
Worker: “Books”? is that like cookies on your computer?
IT: …

4 Times Square
New York, NY

Overheard by: KaotiXX