Florida

Hot secretary #1: I think if you push “release,” the call goes away.
Hot secretary #2: I wish I had a “release” button… then I might not have to fake it with my boyfriend.

Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: JDeez

Guy, waxing lyrical in bathroom stall: Plop plop. Piss piss. Another dump I slowly dismiss. Although they don't smell like flowers, I can do this all day cause I'm paid by the hour.

St. Petersburg, Florida

Overheard by: Joe the average

Lady on phone: Hey, it's Allison. Do you know if there is a website where you can see if someone has an outstanding warrant out for them? (pause) Can you look online and find one? (pause) You know my husband's name, right?

Florida

Overheard by: Scared In Orlando

IT guy #1: You're not going to do it the way I want you to do it.
IT guy #2: Well, show me how you want me to do it, and I'll do it.

Winter Park, Florida

Overheard by: joe

Ghetto EKG tech: How is you gonna pay fo' yo' rent now that you got that big house?
Even more ghetto secretary: I'm gonna have to suck a lot of dick!
(passing-by physician gives an uncomfortable glance at them)
Ghetto secretary: Oh shit! I shouldn't have said that out loud!

Tampa, Florida

Loudspeaker: Customer assistance in fabrics. (pause) Says she's really, really angry, so…no rush.

Wal-Mart
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by:

Older female coworker: So, did you and that guy you had a date with makeout?
Younger female coworker: Um…did we make out?
Older coworker: Yeah. I mean, did you hit it off? What happened with him?
Younger coworker's friend: She doesn't want to talk about it.
Older female coworker: Did he rape you?

Melbourne, Florida

Pregnant employee at coworker's baby shower: Oh, an anti-roll pillow! Thank you!
Male employee: What's it for?
Pregnant employee: To keep the baby from rolling onto his stomach and possibly suffocating in the crib.
Chatty woman: My two babies died from sleeping on their stomachs.
(stunned silence)
Chatty woman: Just kidding! (laughs)

Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: office monkey extraordinaire

Boss to secretary: We're out of paper? Hold on, I'll call Julie and have her fax me a sheet and we can photo copy it.

Fort Lauderdale, Florida

Overheard by: can't say … I'm laughing to hard

Benefit lady: Would you like to buy a raffle ticket?
Pompous cube dweller: I've already bought a muffin for three times as much as I normally would. That's all the boobs get from me today.

Breast Cancer Awareness Bake Sale & Silent Auction
Maitland, Florida

Overheard by: crisa