Florida

Black coworker to white coworker: I mean, some times you have to call a spade a spade and a monkey a monkey, right?
White coworker: Ah, I guess.

Fort Myers, Florida

Male coworker: Colon cleansing will fix your insomnia.
Female coworker: Really?

Jacksonville, Florida

Overheard by: never heard that before

Saleswoman: Oh, you're also from Iran?
Woman: Yes.
Saleswoman: So do you all speak Islamic?

Miami, Florida

Office supplies clerk: Where is all double sided tape going?
Office peon (to other peon): One more roll for my left foot and I can scale the building like Spiderman.

Downtown Orlando, Florida

Cube dweller #1: For my wedding the colors were black and white. So I took my bridesmaids to the dress shop and told them to pick out whatever dress they wanted. They all ended up picking the same one.
Cube dweller #2: Well, that's nice.
Cube dweller #1: Of course they picked the most expensive dress, but I didn't have to pay for that part.
Cube dweller #2: And I bet it was a nice bridesmaid dress that they could wear again and again.
Cube dweller #3: Yeah, like to a funeral.

Tallahassee, Florida

Overheard by: eavesdropping cube dweller

Engineer: If I could get a 12-year-old for $10, I'd do it!

Orlando, Florida

Boss: What you are talking about only adds up to 10% of snake shit
compared to the problems we have.
Meeting: …

2000 West NASA Boulevard
Melbourne, Florida

Female coworker: Molly*, you look so cute! What did you do?
Molly*: Nothing…
Female coworker: Oh, it must be because you're not wearing your glasses.

Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Cute with or without glasses

Customer: Do you have a copy machine?
CSR: Um, no… This is a book store.
Customer: Yeah, but I just want to copy this book.
CSR: We sell books.
Customer: But I don’t want to buy it, I just want to copy it.
CSR: Then maybe you should try a library. We sell books.
Customer: But I’m here now, and I want to copy this book.
CSR: Look, okay, buy the book take it down to Kinkos and copy it, then return it.
Customer: I think that’s illegal. I’d like to report you to your manager.

Book store
Pensacola, Florida

Overheard by: Michelle

Support tech (in southern accent): If that don't fix it, then it's still broke.

Hollywood, Florida