Seriously, Ladies, Get Off the Steroids Before It's Too Late

Male buyer: Did you take care of Tina's Johnson?
Female buyer: (blank stare)
Male buyer: Well, that didn't sound right now, did it?

Melbourne, Florida

Overheard by: Cupcake

Posted on February 10, 2015
Body Parts, Coworkers, Florida, Questions, Sexuality

We Just Don’t Have Enough Slavepower

Lady: Uhh, hi, do you sell cigarettes?
Cashier: No, this is a plant nursery.
Lady: Yeah, I know. So you don’t have them?
Cashier: No, ma’am, this is a plant nursery. We sell plants here.
Lady: But cigarettes come from tobacco, and that’s a plant. I figured if anyone would sell them it would be you.

6831 Central Avenue
St. Petersburg, Florida

Posted on February 6, 2015
Dumb Customers, Florida, General Idiocy, Substance Use & Abuse

Or, Even Better– Play Boggle?

Rep #1: I hope we won't be bored today.
Rep #2: Don't worry, I brought things to entertain us.
Rep #1: Does that mean you are finally going to sleep with me today?

Sarasota, Florida

Overheard by: Scared of entertainment

Posted on February 2, 2015
Coworkers, Florida, Questions, Sexuality

Maybe She Was Sensing That She’s Smarter Than Her Owner

Canadian woman: Things have been so strange around here lately with all the closed door meetings and whispering. Even my dog was really restless the other night, but I think she was sensing the earthquake and possible tsunami.

4027 Tampa Road
Oldsmar, Florida

Posted on February 1, 2015
Animals, Crazies, Florida, Gripes

It Was the ‘Let’s All Go to the Lobby’ Promo

Lady peon: Oh my god, last night I saw the most confusingest movie ever.

Barnie’s Coffee and Tea
Jupiter, Florida

Overheard by: Bored Coffee Girl

Posted on January 31, 2015
Dumb Employees, Florida, General Idiocy, The Cafe

No, the French Are What’s Wrong with France

Employee #1: It’s them damn environmentalists that make the gas prices so high.
Employee #2: Yeah, those morons won’t let us drill for oil anywhere. They’re what’s wrong with this country.
Employee #1: Yeah, them and the French.

North 6th Street
Gainesville, Florida

Overheard by: Environmentalist